Love, Janis
by Missingyoumore
Summary: When a girl finally finds the man of her dreams they think that everything is perfect till her mom takes everything away...will fate lead them back together? All Human-OOC
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

It was a hot day in August when we pulled up outside of Renee's work, I could not believe Alice was going to make me go in there and face her. I really didn't give a shit about the matching tattoos that we just got on our thighs. She was going to have a fit about them regardless, but _he_ was going to be there. Alice knew this and that was why she was forcing me to go show Renee right now instead of waiting till she got home from work. I don't even know why or when I told her I had this huge crush...lusty, obsession thing with a guy that worked in my mom's office.

I had gone to a party with her over the summer at one of her co-workers houses and he was there. I sat in a chair in the back, out of everyone's way and just watched. He was over by the bar and talking with his friend. I watched him interact. I noticed everything about the way he moved and everything I saw appealed to me. He glanced in my direction a few times; I couldn't be sure if he was looking at me, or if it was just in my direction. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I don't know what it was that was so intriguing, but as soon as I laid eyes on him; I knew I had to have him. I just didn't know how.

Renee wasn't always a nice woman. I had my freedom, but it always came with a cost. I wouldn't say I was a bad kid, but I definitely pushed the limits. I liked to party; what kid didn't, no harm no foul. I wanted him, but didn't know how I was going to get around Renee to get the things I wanted. I was obsessed over a guy I had never talked to or had any idea how old he even was.

Alice, my best friend and partner in crime on many occasions was the only one who knew how I truly felt. She was bound and determined to get us together if it killed her. I was content in watching from a far, at least for now…I was enjoying the warm tingles his presents gave me.

We pulled up outside the office and I finished my cigarette. I hoped it would calm my nerves before walking in there. I had to show that nothing bothered me once I entered through the doors. I was especially nervous about seeing him again. I kept my fingers crossed the entire way, hoping that he was out on a sales call or whatever in the hell he did.

I wasn't positive what he did at the company anyways, and I never wanted to ask Renee about him to find out. And, Uncle Charlie was out of the question, if I dared to ask him it would cause him to wonder about my intentions. I didn't need that and Alice knew, she just laughed the entire way at how stupid I was acting.

"You know Bella, you are gonna marry him someday. Just wait and see," she said, over and over. She was convinced she had some physic power bullshit. She needed to stop watching so much TV. However, I was a nervous wreck and she wasn't making it any better chatting that shit over and over like it was going to come true just because she said it.

"Alice …" I huffed "... he doesn't even know I am alive. I'm a kid; he's…an adult, like a real man!"

We both looked at each other and laughed; I was no Virgin Mary, but the odds of him wanting someone my age was still a little nerve racking. He was older and we still didn't know by how much. There was no way he would want anything to do with me. I was a legal adult according to the law, so that should be a problem; I had already turned eighteen. However, something told me that I was playing with fire, and when you play with fire; you end up getting burned.

Alice was a couple years older than me, but she was still young when she had her two little girls. She was a good example of playing with fire and getting burned. Their piece of shit father took off after the first, only to come back and out popped the second. Leaving Alice and the girls to fend for themselves. I love those girls like my own.

For as long as I can remember, it had just been Ali and I. The men that had been in my life had always seemed to let me down when I needed them. Except my grandfather, he cared when no one else really did. He was the only man I truly trusted. Then after seeing the things Alice went through, I just didn't know how to trust a guy or how to even start.

"Bells, get your head out of your ass...let's go," Ali yelled from the front of the truck.

I got out of the truck, tossed the smoke, took a deep breath and walked in. I stopped short at the doors; I had to press a button to get buzzed in and I hesitated. Alice reached across me and hit the button shaking her head.

"Come in Girls," Lauren called out in a snotty tone. Lauren was always a royal pain in the ass and I knew she disliked me. I also knew the exact reason why, or at least I guessed the reason why. I mean, I didn't think it was that obvious that I like him. Hell, I had figured they must have known each from school or mutual friends. A lot of the people that worked in this office all went to the same high school and everyone seemed to know one another. She was in love with him that was for sure; Ali and I had that figured out in a minute. The looks we got could cut glass, she hated us so much. It was to the point of being comical, one because we really weren't a threat, and two she was almost ten years older than us.

As I opened the door, I grabbed Alice's hand; I knew I had to walk right past his office. I didn't think I could do it. So, I stopped and took another deep breath while Alice was still trying to keep her shit together. She had a big mouth and didn't know when not to use it; I usually did too. I could feel his presence and knew I was doomed; it was always the same feeling, like butterflies were loose in my stomach. That's when I saw him sitting at his desk with his head down; I stopped briefly to stare. He must have sensed my presence too and looked up. He smiled and I felt the warmth wash over my entire body. My face burned red with embarrassment of being caught looking at him. I hoped he didn't notice the blush that stained my checks. I smiled back quickly leaving his doorway before he could notice my blush and making my way to Renee's office. I saw Lauren out of the corner of my eye and noticed she had a terrible grimace on her face. I couldn't resist the urge to tell her to fuck off, so I flipped her the bird, and turned around walking straight into Renee's office. _Jealous Ass Bitch! _

"What did you do now and how much do you want?" Renee sneered before I could even get through the door and a word out of my mouth. Ali strolled over to one of the chairs to sit; no sooner than she sat down in the chair, she began spinning in circles having the time of her life laughing out loud. I stared down the woman that made my life a living hell.

"I just came to show you my new tattoo…wanna see? Ali got a matching one."

Renee turned the other way and continued to work, like it was nothing. _I knew it was stupid to come here. _ Finally, registering what I had just said to her, she whipped around in her chair, eyes wide on us. _Oh, Shit!_ I thought. We were in trouble for something now and I knew it wasn't the tattoo because she had given her consent for my first one at sixteen. So, adding another one to my collection wouldn't have been the reason she was pissed. However, this was how things went with Renee. She went from hot to cold so fast; you never knew what mood she was going to be in or how to react to her moods.

"We are having an open house with the company next door that your Uncle Charlie works for and I need help. I decided that you two will volunteer your time to do this. Meaning you will not be getting paid. It is this Friday, so you have three days to prepare yourselves."

Alice and I were shocked; first of all she wanted us to work for her … for free. What in the hell was she going to make us do? We weren't her personal slaves, what if we didn't want to work for her. I mean, she ordered us around whenever she wanted. I guess I expected that from her. We would do the work, so she wouldn't have to pay someone else to do it. Figures!

"By the way girls everyone in both the companies will be here including the owners. We will be having guests and they will be here with their wives or girlfriends. Make sure you dress appropriately, don't wear you bar slut attire please," Renee said with firmness to her tone.

"Yes Mom," we said in unison. It was all we were able to get out, rolling our eyes at each other. I knew we both were thinking the same thing, bar slut attire...what a bitch.

We both walked out of Renee's office pissed off. We were almost to the door when I felt Ali poking me in the ass. I looked up at her and she pointed over into his office. I looked in seeing him sitting there. He was smiling at me again. I smiled back, to afraid to say anything. That's when I froze in place.

"Ali, Renee said everyone was going to be there didn't she?" I asked in a whispered tone so he couldn't hear me.

I chanced a glance in the direction of Lauren's desk; she was once again staring at us with a face that could kill. I resisted the urge to flip her off again, not wanting him to see me act like a spoiled brat. Alice noticed, quickly dragging me out of the office humming the Wedding March. I was so fucked!

_**A/N Sorry such a short chapter...The next ones will be longer; this was just setting up the story basically. This is my first story so please be kind and review.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

_**Six years ago…..**_

I can still remember the day Renee showed up and decided to play mom, it still feels like yesterday to me. It was the summer before I was going to start middle school. She came waltzing into Grandma and Papa's house just like every other time before and I figured she would stay for a couple hours and disappear. It was always the same pretend she cared, then take off again like she always did.

When I was younger, I hung on her every word believing everything she would tell me. I always anticipated her arrival and would wait outside in the plum tree. Grandma only allowed me to climb on the days she said she was going to come to see me or pick me up to stay at her place. I learned real fast not to count on her.

I had lived with my grandparents since I was born. I had no father in the picture and I don't even think Renee was sure of who he was. When I was younger, Renee switched boyfriends like I switched socks often times she pulled me along for the ride. She got married once, I think that lasted three months...if that. I can vaguely remember living in that little yellow house for a short time.

Renee and I often bounced from house to house, each time I would meet her piece of shit flavor of the week. We would play house for a little while and when she would soon realize she was tired of playing mommy. She would take me back to grandma and papa's the only place that was stable.

I understand parents have to work...good for you. However, Renee took it to a new level when she found a job at a local neighborhood dive bar. I've always heard people say leave work at work; however, Renee decided to bring her work home. I couldn't begin to count how many boyfriends she went through, but one thing I did notice was how she changed for each one them.

As I got older, I saw what men could do to women and what a women would do for a man's attention. I swore I would never be like that, that I would never allow a man to run my whole life the way Renee would let them run hers. Hell, in Renee's world, if she wasn't happy, no one was happy. I was the happiest with my grandparents, they were the only structure I had.

I don't understand why she didn't leave me there, but I guess this time she thought she could do better. Renee had bought a house and planned on taking me to live with her. I was devastated. My grandma cried for days, Renee had no clue how to be a mom, let alone how to take care of me.

It became pretty apparent that she only cared about herself. She still wanted to party with her friends. She had people over all hours of the night and I would be told "just stay in your room Bella." All I wanted to do was go back to my grandparents house, I knew they loved me and wanted me.

Taking me to school, was something Renee had trouble fitting into her busy schedule. However, she had to be in control and even if it was her fault that I didn't get where I needed to be on time. Well, let's just say she never saw it as her fault. It was always mine and I always got into trouble because of it. Honestly, it got to the point that I didn't even want to be home anymore.

Alice and I met in study hall during high school, even though she was a few years older than me. We clicked right away and were inseparable. She understood Renee in all her crazy and helped me get through the hard times. Alice was the only other one who I considered a stable person in my life.

The older I got the worse Renee got and the less amount of time I spent at home. By this time Ali could drive so she would pick me up. It's funny how Renee acted, I mean, when she had friends over all she wanted me to do was hide in my room; however, when Ali and I wanted to do something I had to call Renee. It was all about control because she didn't care where I was or who I was with as long as I was out of her hair. Nevertheless, all that changed when Renee learned that I had something to care about.

I can remember my first boyfriend, he was gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes; I could get lost in those blues. He was older than me, I was only fifteen at the time and he was nineteen, but I didn't care and neither did he. We met at the local pool hall where a large group of us hung out a lot. I was in love with him and when Renee found out; she did everything in her power to try to keep us apart. She grounded me, stalked me, and even went as far as taking away phone privileges. Only because I was happy once again in my life and she wasn't.

It finally got to the point that I couldn't take it anymore and told her we broke up; I wanted her off my back. Hell, having a boyfriend and being happy became a battle I was tired of fighting with her. If only she would have left me to my own devices I could have had a better idea of how to deal with men. However, Renee being who she was decided to sit me down and tell me how bad men really are and how horrible they treat women. "_They use them_" ...blah, blah, blah. It was out of control really.

The stress at home was really getting to me and I needed some way to deal with the stress she would put me under. It wasn't long before I started getting high all the time just to cope with life. The more she bitched and controlled the less amount of time I stayed at home. We spent the weekends at a local camp ground, and she never even said a word about it. She even knew it was a well known druggie hang out because she went there as a teenager.

My boyfriend and I never broke up like I had told Renee. In fact, at the time we were still seeing each other, it had been about two years by then. Hiding it from Renee wasn't always easy, but I managed to pull it off. She naively thought we just hung out with our friends and sometime Ali's girls were even with us.

I still got the speeches everyday about how not to let my life be ruined by a man, and getting caught up in the life of having them control me. She was the one who had to have total control over my life. If she didn't have control or think she had control she didn't like it.

The day I found out my boyfriend had enlisted and left for boot camp was one of the hardest days of my life. He never told me he was leaving and everything seemed so sudden. I remember crying when I found out, I just sat on my porch alone smoking to dull the pain. I was utterly crushed which clued Renee into figuring it out. It was everything she had been saying all along. She would tell me all over again trying to warn me and here it was I had thought he cared. I knew he was older, but I really thought he cared. _Renee might be right. How can I ever trust a man again? _I thought.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA. So please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinacullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

After we left Renee's office, we picked up Ali's girls to spend some time with them. When Renee called and wanted us to have dinner with her, I didn't want to spend any more time at home. So I decided I was going to sleep over Ali's. Ali knew I was having issues with the party because I had been so restless during the day. I needed to relax or I was going to have a breakdown before it even got to be Friday. Noticing my distress, Ali decided we needed to get out of the house. It was Tuesday night so we were headed to our favorite bar 'Twilight'. Tuesday night at 'Twilight' was Ladies Night, which meant we would be drinking for free. Neither one of us was technically old enough to drink, but we knew the owner. We had been drinking there since I was fifteen.

Ali and I sat there talking while downing the usual Jager with the backer of Bud Light. Closing time came and went as Aro let us sit and hang out for awhile. Everyone here at the bar treated us like family and allowed us to stay well past closing time. When we finally left the bar, it was around five thirty in the morning. Deciding we needed something to eat before we headed home, we went to a twenty-four hour diner. It was normally a bunch of us that went, but I just didn't feel like socializing tonight.

Ali spent the next three hours convincing me that I could go to the party. I was worried about making a complete ass out of myself, but Ali assured me that things would be fine, that I was overreacting. After our long talk that I could get through Friday night, and maybe even finally speak more than two words to him, we finally went back to Ali's house.

I couldn't sleep that night, opting to take a shower and head straight to work. Thank God, I was young and my body could handle this up all night shit. Otherwise, I would have been useless at work. On Wednesday, I went home and decided that I need to find something to wear. Something that would meet Renee's standards of not being _bar__ slut attire. _I finally decided on a nice pair of black pants and a white tank top with a red pull over shirt. I wanted to make sure I looked good for him and was dressed appropriately for Renee. However, there was no way I was breaking away from wearing my 5 inch heels, whether she liked it or not. I loved those shoes. I would wear them in my coffin when I die.

The next few days passed without incident. Renee reminded me daily about volunteering on Friday. She also told me to make sure Alice was there and that she had a sitter. I just rolled my eyes;_ she lived with her parents for God sake! Why wouldn't she have a sitter?_

Ali came over all dressed up, and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She was going to get yelled at for sure. _Damn slut, no wonder she had two kids! _

"Ali...I am really nervous. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to him, but I don't want to. What if he laughs at me? He could make a fool out of me. Shit, I bet he has a girlfriend. Oh. My. God. What the fuck is wrong with me? I have lost my mind."

"Bells, put your damn clothes on, and let's go, for the love of God. Just remember you're gonna marry him one day. I'm physic, remember?"

We climbed into my truck. As the truck roared to life, Alice reached into my glove box and pulled out my CD case. She showed me the CD. I nodded my approval, and I pulled out onto the street as she popped in the CD into the player. Before long, we were singing our hearts out all the way there. We really were two very strange girls. How anyone could put up with either of us was beyond me. Then, add the fact of us being best friends; well that was something of a miracle.

When we pulled into the parking lot of Renee's office, I sat in the truck for a moment trying to calm myself down before walking in there. Ali hopped out of the truck and stood there watching me; waiting for me to get out._ It was now or never_, I told myself as I placed my hands on the doorknob and opened the door. I knew this was most likely going to be my one and only chance to talk with him.

We walked in and looked around the area. I saw that no one was there yet, except Renee and that bitch Lauren. As soon as Renee saw us, she started barking orders. Hell, we hadn't even made it through the door entirely yet.

Renee told us that it was an open house for the company. We were supposed to set up the tables and chairs, but we had to wait for them to get dropped off. She informed us that Edward was bringing them over in the work truck. So we were supposed to help unload them from the truck once he got here.

Edward must have showed up a few minutes after we got there because I heard the big garage door open. Ali bounced over to the door before I could get there. He had unloaded everything into piles to be moved, opened the door, and then left to get himself ready for the party. let out a huge sigh of relief. Not having to climb up into the bed of a truck and move tables with Ali, in front of him, was a blessing. I wasn't the most coordinated person in the world, and the both of us together was even worse.

Ali and I did everything we were asked to do. We basically set it up like we would for a birthday party for one of the girls. We got all the food set up, placed the beverages for the party on the makeshift bar, and added what needed to be cooled on ice. After all the guests showed up, we were to mingle around and clean up after the guests.

Most of the people here knew who I was because of Renee. They had worked there for so long and by extension, they also knew Ali, since she was always around. It also didn't help that my Uncle Charlie worked for the company next door. We talked with the people we knew, and Ali flirted her ass off with every single guy in the room. She was so funny to watch. However, I wasn't as relaxed as Ali and was on guard from the moment the party started. Lauren never took her eyes off of me. It felt like she was boring a hole in my chest. I knew he would be here soon. I just didn't know when he would show up.

"Bitch needs to get laid," Ali whispered as she walked by. I almost spit out the Coke I was drinking.

That's when I felt it, the warm tingling sensation I got when he was near. I have never had more than a two word conversation with _the man_ and somehow I still got those warm and fuzzy feeling by being in his presence. I was so scared to turn around. I mean what if he had brought a date, a girl. Silently, I prayed to God or whoever the hell was listening up there. _Please don't let him be with a girl_. I knew he wasn't married because I had asked Renee once. But what if he was dating someone? I knew that if I kept asking Renee about him, she would start asking questions and that is something I didn't want to happen. It was then I had the startling thought, _What if he's with that bitch Lauren?_ All this thinking and worrying was making me sick to my stomach. I turned quickly, hoping to escape him. I bee lined straight for the bathroom, running right into someone.

"I'm so sorry," I said, without looking up.

I knew it was him the instant the words left my lips. The tingles pulsed through my body as he touched my arms. I knew I was going to pass out any minute if he kept touching me.

"Hi Bella."

All I could do was look up into his eyes. What I saw in them totally took my breath away. He smiled down at me. I whispered a faint hello, I think, but I couldn't be sure. Thank God for Ali and her quick reflexes. She must have saw my swooning and decided to save me.

"Hi. I'm Alice, Bella's best friend, you must be Edward. I have heard a lot about you. You look very handsome this evening. Are you trying to impress someone?"

Not only had Ali saved me, but she also embarrassed me in a matter of seconds. She played it off well and acted like she had heard about him. I knew I was in for it now. Ali had made contact with him and spoken to him. Now all that was left was for her to get us together.

I was pulled from the scene by Renee yelling mine and Ali's names. Ali finished her sentence, but because of Renee's calling, he never got a chance to answer. When I looked over at Lauren, I noticed her standing right next to Renee with her arms folded. I was going to have to figure out if something was going on between these two or if she really was a jealous bitch.

We both walked slowly over to where they were standing and listened as they both babbled on about what they wanted done. It seems both were demanded to make sure they got all the free labor they could out of us. Ali and I got back to work cleaning up the messes left behind by the guests._ Maybe that was my one chance_, I thought.

Over the next couple hours, I found myself watching him. I didn't know if he could tell I was watching him or if he was watching me too. We would share quick smiles or he would nod his head in my direction. I was done for. I was already falling for this guy … _man _… that I barely knew.

"Dum…Dum…Da…Dum," Ali sang as she wandered by me.

Finally towards the end of the night, Renee and the bitch left the party area. I was glad that Edward and Lauren hardly talked to one another besides a brief hello. She did have her claws out and her eyes on both of us during the night.

Ali kicked me when I wasn't paying any attention. I was about to punch her until I realized why. I watched as he started walking towards Ali and I. Watching him walk across the floor towards us made me smile and hopeful that he was coming to talk to me.

"Hi Girls. I was wondered what you were both doing later? Some of us are going out and would like to know if you wanted to join us."

Fuck. My. Life. Of all nights Ali had to go home, why did it have to be this one? Her daughter, Alex, was sick and there was no way I could do this by myself, especially the first time. I looked between him and Ali, trying to figure out what to do in a panic. _Pull yourself together, Isabella_.

"Actually, Edward, we have another job to go to right after this one. Bella is babysitting tonight."

I was ready to jump up and down, and fist pump the air that she came up with that idea. You really don't babysit your own kids, but whatever. I really didn't want to make a fool of myself, being alone with him. Let alone jumping him in some bar after I got a little bit of liquid courage in me. Ali decided to walk away at that point; I guess to give us some time to talk.

"Well, since you can't go tonight, would you like to get together another night for drinks or something? Maybe get to know one another a little better?" Edward asked, in a voice that made my heart skip a beat.

"Sure, what are you thinking?" I asked, playing it off cool, still cleaning up.

He mentioned a local bar and restaurant in the area that we could meet up at in a couple days. I agreed that it sounded great. We exchanged phone numbers and talked for a few more minutes before Ali came running into the room yelling.

"Bitch Alert! Bitch Alert!"

I laughed; Edward looked at me confused, so I shrugged.

"Oompa Loompa doom-pa-de-do. I have a perfect puzzle for you," Ali sang as she swept the floor in the back shop. I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud as a tear rolled down my cheek. Edward leaned forward and wiped it away with the pad of his thumb. "I love your laugh," he whispered in my ear. Thank God I was leaning against a table. He had a smirk on his face before he turned; walking towards the door, just as it swung open for Lauren to rush thru. Edward turned to look at us with a questioning face. I am sure he was wondering if the alert was for Lauren. He chuckled and shook his head as he left.

"Dum…Dum…Da…Dum," Ali sang. I was not sure if she knew Lauren was behind us yet or not.

"Why are you singing the Wedding March, Alice?" Lauren growled. Alice and I burst into hysterics.

After I gained control of myself and started to clean up the rest of the garbage, I started to think more about what just happened. _What was wrong with my body? I have talked to guys before, plenty of times._ This was an entire different world for me. I needed to grow some balls, so to say, and jump in; especially if I ever wanted a chance because no _man_ was gonna want a _kid_.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA. So please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinacullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Agreeing to meet Edward at a restaurant was exciting yet scary at the same time. I was a strong girl. I never put up with anyone's shit, and I could hold my own on any day. Most of my best friends were guys, but something about him made me nervous. I needed to do this and not make an ass out of myself in the process.

I had wanted this to happen for as long as I could remember. I can't even recall the first time I laid eyes on him. The only thing I did know was that he was different from any other guy I had met in my life. There was something about him, something more I needed to know and needed to figure out.

During the week we talked a few times on the phone, confirming our _date_ and time. _Were we really going on a date? Or was this just two mutual friends hanging out? _I was so confused and worried. _No, he couldn't think of it like that, could he?_ Fuck! I needed to stop over thinking everything and just go with the flow. If he likes me … well, than we will go from there. If he doesn't, I have no choice but to move on.

_I am a strong independent woman! _

He must have sensed I was a little nervous, so he decided to bring his brother, Jasper, along. He suggested that I should bring Ali because she would give Jasper a run for his money. I laughed, he really didn't know her very well yet, but most people could tell she was a wild one.

Ali and I both got ready and decided we would meet the guys at the bar. We walked in a few minutes after seven. I saw Edward and who must be his brother sitting up at the bar.

"I … am in love. You will be my matron of honor, right?" Ali spit out as we were walking.

"What the hell, Ali? You just looked at him. You have never even talked to him. Now, you're planning your wedding? I seem to already be married in it … besides you have two children at home. Did you forget?"

"He loves my girls already, remember psychic." She pointed to her temple.

I wanted to turn around and walk right back out the door. I knew this was going to turn out either really bad or really good. Ali and I were a force to be reckoned with when we were together. However, I became this shy thing around him for some reason, and Ali was a tiger on the prowl tonight. _Well, here goes nothing._ We held hands and walked up the stairs. I locked eyes with Edward, as a smile came across his face when he saw us.

We kept our eyes locked on each other's the entire time I walked toward them. I really don't know how I did not fall over someone or something, but I made it. He stood up and held out his hand toward a couple of chairs, which they had saved for us. The bar looked pretty busy tonight; they had some kind of trivia game going on. Ali leaped across both Edward and me to sit in the spot where he had been sitting. Now she could sit next to who I was really hoping was his brother. I had made it this far so I didn't really care who he was; let her do her thing. Edward sat down on the end, allowing me to sit next to Ali.

"Ladies, I want to introduce you to my brother Jasper," he said, winking at Ali. I knew he could tell what she was doing now.

"Jasper, this is Isabella and her best friend Alice. I expect you to be on your best behavior tonight," he added with a head nod.

That sent Ali right over the edge. I could hear the whispering about showing him what bad behavior really looked like. I had to tune that conversation out if I planned on making it through this date or whatever it was. I turned my focus back to Edward. I knew Ali would do something soon to bring the focus to herself and wouldn't waste time.

"Bella, would you like something to drink?" he asked, while motioning for the bartender to come over. I was a little panicked. I didn't know if he knew my age. I sure as hell didn't want to get carded in front of him and look like a fool. If we were at 'Twilight,' this wouldn't be a problem. Sometimes, I got away with it, sometimes not. As the bartender walked over, Ali came to the rescue, while I was wrapped up in looking at Edward's beautiful face.

"Hmmm, hey baby! How about you get us pretty ladies a couple of Bud Lights and a couple shots of Jager? Add whatever these guys want to the tab and pour yourself one also," she said, leaning over the bar flirting with the bartender. Whatever she did, it worked, no questions asked. I can usually work my magic too. God gave me tits for a reason. However, I wasn't going to do that now!

The night started off slowly. We all talked together about things we liked and disliked. I started to become really relaxed and even started to, dare I say, flirt a little. Ali was pretty much dry humping Jasper, on the bar stool, by this time. We were all having fun.

We played the trivia game that was going on. They asked all kinds of silly questions about TV shows, movies, and music. We really were all having a great time laughing. We would jump up and down screaming, when we knew the right answer. Ali and I excused ourselves to the bathroom because I had been holding it way too long, and we needed a little gossip time.

"I'm done, Alice. I don't know what to do. I really like him, I mean really like him."

"Isabella Marie, go back out there and get your man. He loves you; he just doesn't know it yet," Ali said, while fixing her lip gloss because the gloss she put on earlier was all over Jasper.

"Oh, by the way Bella, don't tell me you're not in love with him. He's your one. You will never love anyone the way you love him," Ali said, as she slipped out the door in front of me._ Why does she have to complicate my brain more than it already is?_ I took in a deep breath, walked back to the bar, and sat back down.

"BELLS!"

I jumped ten feet, right into Edward, of course, when Ali screamed my name. He softly rubbed my arms and laughed. I looked at him, while he smiled at me as I was basically sitting in his lap.

"What the fuck, Alice? I am right here! What is so important?" I asked, returning to my seat. Not that I didn't want to stay in his lap, but I didn't want to go to jail for indecent exposure. I really didn't know what Edward wanted at this point either, and I needed to take things back a notch before I messed everything up.

"It's the Name that Tune part! We are gonna kick ass," Ali screamed, as she stood up in between Jasper's legs. He held onto her hips, looking up at her with wonder, lust, and another emotion I didn't quite recognize.

The first song started to play.

_Bein' good isn't always easy  
>No matter how hard I try<br>When he started sweet-talkin' to me  
>He'd come and tell me everything's alright<br>He'd kiss and tell me everything is alright  
>Can I get away again tonight?<em>

"Son of A Preacher Man," Ali and I both shouted at the same time, laughing before she even got through singing the verse. I looked over at Edward to make sure he didn't think I was crazy yet. Who the hell knew some little ass song from 1968? I blew it for sure. I was singing the song now. Of course, my crazy personality was starting to come out. That's when Edward leaned forward towards me. I thought he was reaching for his drink, when he starting speaking.

"I would have never thought you to be a Dusty Springfield fan?"

I about fell off the chair. This man was becoming more mesmerizing to me every minute._ How the hell did he know who sang that song? _I turned to look at Ali, shocked. She and Jasper were singing to each other. He started singing the words softly with me.

_The only one who could ever reach me  
>Was the son of a preacher man<br>The only boy who could ever teach me  
>Was the son of a preacher man<br>Yes he was, he was, ooh, he was_

There were a few more song that played. We guessed and sang along, until my all time favorite song began to play. Ali and I love this song; we sang it all the time. People thought I was nuts. It was such an old song, but nothing compared to the emotions that were felt when she sang it.

_Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' fer a __train__  
>When I's feeling nearly faded as my jeans<br>Bobby thumbed a diesel down, just before it rained  
>And rode us all the way to New Orleans<br>I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana  
>I's playing soft while Bobby sung the blues, n-yeah<br>Windshield wipers slapping time I's, holding Bobby's hand in mine and  
>We sang every song that <em>_driver__ knew_

I looked over at Edward and he looked at me. We sang the entire song to each other, word for word all while gazing into each other's eyes.

"Janis too I see," he said, with an eyebrow peaked.

"I love Janis! I have loved her forever. I had to do reports in school, so I did them on her. I even read her book, 'It's Called Love, Janis' There is actually a play in town right now, that is the based on the book. It would be so cool to go see it." I was babbling, drunk, happy, and according to my physic best friend, in love.

"Well, let's go to the play. I love her, too," he said.

"Really?" was all I could get out.

"Yes, it can be our first official date. Especially without those two sucking face over there."

I turned around to look and sure enough, Ali was on top of Jasper. Thank God, they had clothes on because they would be making baby number three right here at the bar. I turned back towards Edward; we both shook our heads and busted out laughing.

We decided to call it a night and started to walk to the parking lot. Edward grabbed my hand, and I felt all the warmth pour through my body again. Since Jasper came with Edward and Ali drove with me, they couldn't go home together tonight, but were busy making plans. Edward walked me over to my truck. I unlocked it and went to get in, but stopped. With every fiber in my body, I held myself back from jumping him.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned around. He was looking down at me; his eyes had a look of passion and lust in them. I licked my lips as he started to move closer. His lips had barely touched mine, and I was on fire. The kiss started off slow and gentle. When his tongue slid across my bottom lip, asking for entrance, I granted it. That's when his hands went from my arms to the sides of my face and then into my hair. Our tongues didn't fight for dominance. It was almost as if we were meant to be doing this. If I didn't love him before, as Ali had said, I fell in love with him the second his mouth touched mine.

We broke apart not because we wanted to, but because we needed air. I raised my fingers up to touch my lips. I couldn't believe the way they felt from the kiss we had just shared. Edward looked at me; I couldn't really tell what he was thinking. Just as he was about to kiss me again, we got interrupted.

"Let's go, Bitch! I'm hungry," Ali yelled, hopping into the passenger seat in my truck.

"I have to go."

"I'll see you soon, Bella." He leaned into the truck, kissing me on the forehead, and then he was gone. I let my head fall back against the seat and laughed. I looked over at Ali and shook my head at her. She knew exactly what I was thinking.

"I told you. Psychic, remember bitch," she said, while tapping her head.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA. So please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinacullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Since our night at the bar, Edward had called. We had talked about us going to the theater for our first real date. I was hiding it from Renee because I didn't want her breathing down my neck if this wasn't going to go anywhere. _Why stir the pot? _

Finally, the night of our big date was here. I was freaking the fuck out! _What was I going to wear?_ I had never been anywhere nice in my entire life. I had been to a few dances at school, but my grandma bought those dresses for me or friends let me borrow them.

Edward was picking me up at Tanya's house, after he got off work. Tanya lived with her boyfriend, Garrett now, but when she was younger, she lived with us for awhile. I told Renee I was spending the night with Tanya, so she wouldn't be expecting me. So I didn't really get any lip. All Renee really wanted was her freedom to do as she chose. Not knowing what to expect tonight, I tried to cover all my bases.

God Bless Ali, who knew my dilemma and showed up with a black skirt and grey top. She also had a cute pair of little flat shoes to go with my outfit. I looked at her like she was crazy when she brought them in because there was no way in hell these were her clothes. She only owned two kinds of clothes: sweats and slutty; there was no in between with her. My wardrobe was not much better, but at least I had scrubs for work.

I took a shower, shaved, and washed my hair. When I got out, Ali was sitting on the toilet waiting to attack.

"Listen Bells, I know you are nervous. You have no reason to be. You love him, and I know he will realize that he loves you, too. Just relax and be yourself. You deserve to be loved."

A single tear rolled down my face, as she walked out the door. _Did I really deserve to be loved?_ I didn't know if I did, but I was at least going to try. I dried my hair straight, which takes forever, but I hated it curly. I put on a little bit of makeup and got dressed.

Edward was going to pick me up before Tanya or Garrett got home from work. All I had left to do was lock up. Once I got done, I still had about fifteen minutes to wait until he was due to arrive. I sat on their porch and had a couple cigarettes trying to calm my nerves.

Stubbing out my cigarettes, I got up and headed for the house when I saw him pull in. A smile immediately came across my face. I couldn't get out the door quick enough. I met him at the passenger side of the car, where he opened the door for me; I hopped in. I thought, _nice fancy car, Mr. Salesmen_.

We talked the entire drive into the city, where the theater was downtown. I was so excited that I was basically bouncing in my seat. When we got to the theater, Edward parked the car and hurried around to my side to open my door again. I don't think anyone had ever opened my door, ever. I could really see him now. He had on his work clothes, but he was still sexy as hell. He had on dark dress pants and a button up shirt with a tie. _I wonder if he would tie me up with his tie?_ The nasty thoughts raced through my mind, and I briefly wonder if he was thinking the same. _Isabella, you need to get control of yourself; you are in public, _I scolded myself_. _

Offering his hand to me, we walked into the building. I felt like a million dollars. _Was this how it felt to be treated like a lady?_ If so, I wanted to do this more often. I pulled out the tickets and found what door we had to enter through. We got a program from the man at the door that explained all about the show. The seats we had were good seats; they weren't too close or too far away. I sat down next to him. He took my hand again, and I placed it on my lap this time. I was really starting to gain some confidence.

We spent the time waiting for the show to start reading the program together, as he rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I can never remember being this happy in my life.

The show was excellent. It was inspired from the book by the same title that was written by her sister. The entire spoken parts of the play were the letters Janis Joplin had written home to her family. They also included interviews she did while she hitchhiked to San Francisco to join Big Brother and The Holding Company. Then someone would come out and perform one of her songs.

The play followed her life all the way to her death in 1970. It really was fantastic. I wouldn't be able to thank him enough for bringing me here. No one had ever done anything so nice for me. Here was this _man_ taking this _kid_ to the theater. I looked over at him, watching the show, and all I could think about was how deep in love I was falling.

After the show ended, we walked back to his car. He asked if I wanted to go home or if I felt like going out for a couple of drinks. I wasn't blowing my shot to be with him to go home. My next question to myself was, _do I hold out a while and see where this goes? Hopefully, we could turn into something really spectacular. Or, do I give in and fuck him as soon as the opportunity arises?_ I laughed to myself at that thought; _whore_; I was playing in the fire again.

We lived in a small town with nothing much to do. So he suggested that we headed closer to where he lived, further out of town. They had a few more places to choose from. I really had never been that far out before, but it seemed nice. There was a little local tavern where he and his friends were regulars at, and he said I wouldn't have a problem getting served.

"Edward, I don't have to drink everywhere we go. Just so you know I don't care either way." I wanted to let him know I wasn't a lush. The few times we have been together, yes, I had pounded them back. However, as long as I was with him and we were together, I didn't mind not drinking. A Coke would be the best thing to go with tonight. It would help to keep my thoughts straight.

We walked into 'Volturi Tavern' and I felt like we were on an episode of 'Cheers'. Almost everyone said hello to him. He started shaking hands with people and introducing me to everybody, making me feel very welcome. There was a guy all the way at the end of the bar, who we went to sit by. Edward pointed in his direction and told me that was, Emmett, his best friend. He continued to tell me things about him, and how he worked at the golf course that they just built. He was massive in size, but as cute as could be. When he smiled, he had dimples. I couldn't help, but like him instantly. I prayed that his friends wouldn't think I was too young for him. There was almost an eight year age gap, it did not seem to bother him in the least but it would always be in the back of my mind. Just thinking those thoughts made me nervous again. I didn't know why I got nervous for no one said anything to my knowledge. Actually, he really didn't seem all that bothered by it.

We were all at the bar having a good time when I heard her before I saw her.

"Well … well … well, look who we have here."

Edward got up and stood in front of me because I think he noticed the look on my face; tonight that bitch was going down.

"Lauren, what are you doing here? I thought you were jumping out of a plane or something this weekend," Edward spat.

"Plans changed, it's gonna rain. Can't go to the drop zone in bad weather," she said directly to Edward, but staring at me.

"Well, it was good seeing you. We were just getting ready to leave. See you Monday."

He had my hand, pulling me out the door. Maybe he sensed that if he didn't get me out of there that Lauren and I would have issues. When we got to his car, we agreed to go back to his place to watch a movie, since it was a weekend, and I was supposed to be sleeping at Tanya and Garrett's house. He lived with his parents currently because he had just moved back into town not too long ago, but he said they really didn't care what he did. At this point, I was too caught up in the thought of going back to Edward's house.

When we got back to his house, he popped a movie in the living room. I never did see his parents and assumed they were asleep. We sat on the couch snuggled together. I don't even know what movie was on the TV because as soon as he touched me, every part of my body was warm and tingling again. He leaned over and kissed me just like the first time, slow and soft at first. Then as soon as his tongue asked for entrance, I quickly granted his request, and things got hot and heavy.

Before I knew what happened, he was on top of my body. I could feel his rock hard cock pushing against my wet core. My entire body was burning up and waiting to explode. I had never felt anything like this before in my life. Here we sat on his parent's couch making out like two kids in high school. I didn't know if I should stop him or let him continue. I was torn with what to do. I really wanted to continue. I didn't want this to be a quick fuck, and he never call again. However, my body took over and answered for me.

His hands slowly started roaming over my body. I gave into the sensations he was creating in my body. I knew it was going to happen, and I wasn't going to stop. If he wanted to stop, then I wouldn't beg. Although, I needed a release. I didn't want anyone, but Edward to give it to me.

His lips descended slowly from my mouth down my jaw, down to my neck, where he nipped and sucked. All the while he was still grinding his cock against me, in the perfect spot. It was like he knew exactly where to go and how to get me there. I think I blacked out from the feelings he was stirring in my body because I didn't even realize we were naked until he pushed into me. I gasped as I felt him deep inside of me.

Here we were on his parent's couch, naked, and going at it in their house. I had lost my mind for sure.

I lost myself in the feel of his body on top of me. This wasn't a quick fuck though. It felt different, but somehow more … something more; I don't know if he felt it or not. He slowly pushed himself in and out of me. I bit the side of my mouth trying to keep myself from making any noise and alerting his parents to our activities in the living room.

My back slide off the couch from the forces of his thrusts, and we ended up on the floor. The cold hardwood floor was a shock to my warm back. Edward didn't miss a beat and continued to work in and out of my body. God, he felt so good inside me that I didn't even care about the cold or the hardness of the floor. I was so scared to make a noise or a sound, tearing up the inside of my cheek, as he pushed me over the edge. I felt the euphoria of the two of us coming together as one as I fell over the edge. It only took seconds after finding my own release that he found his, and emptied his warm seed into my body. His entire body relaxed on top of mine, both of us catching our breaths.

I relished the feeling of his heavy body on mine. I ran my hands up his back and into his hair where I lightly scratched his scalp. All I could think was, _Please don't let Renee fuck this up!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA. So please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinacullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Our first night together was magical. After that I knew I was going to have a hard time staying away from him. We ended up going out the following night. Ali and Jasper joined us this time. We all met up at 'Volturi Tavern' because I didn't see the point in having them pick us up and drop us off when they lived further out than us. So, I said I would drive Ali and I. Jasper was probably getting used to spending that extra time for Ali because she didn't have a car. Usually, she borrowed my truck or walked.

When I pulled into the driveway to get Ali, her girls came running out to see me. It had been a few days since I had seen them, so I was happy to spare a few minutes for them.

"Auntie Bellie," Alex and Izzie both yelled at the same time as they jumped into the truck. They always made me laugh. They were talking a mile a minute, asking all kinds of questions. When can we go to the park? Or, when they can have a sleepover? Once I convinced them I would talk to Mommy about it, they finally went into the house.

Ali finally emerged from the house and climbed into the truck. Lighting a cigarette, I pulled out of the driveway. I reached over and turned up the music and started singing. Ali just stared at me.

"Do you have something to tell me?" Ali said, while lighting her own cigarette and turning down the music. I knew she was getting ready for the next Spanish inquisition. I dreaded this more than anything. I didn't care about telling her that we had sex. However, she was gonna want to know every little detail and any emotion that went with it. Actually, I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. Beside I knew once I started talking, she was going to start spouting shit about her psychic abilities again, and I didn't need her psychic knowledge clouding my head.

"The play was unbelievable. You and Jasper should try to stop bumping uglies for a few minutes and go see it. Oh, I also met some of his friends that will be at the bar we are going to tonight."

That's when I felt her fist connect with the side of my face.

"Bitch, I can't believe you fucking punched me," I said, while rubbing my face.

"You know that is not what I wanted to know about. How was it? Good? Gentle? Rough, how bi…" I put my hand up stopping her before she could continue.

"Ali, it was beautiful. I have never felt anything like it before. It was hot and sexy and slow and…I can't even explain it. I was so scared though; I had feelings going on in my body I have never felt. I was rocked to my core. Fuck Ali, I have never felt anything like him being inside me."

"Damn girl, Cullen boys know how to fuck! OUUUUU!" Ali shouted with her hands in the air.

"ALICE! Get control of yourself!" I was so embarrassed, but I was laughing at her, too. All I could hope for was that she wouldn't embarrass me in front of Edward. I knew if she embarrassed me in front of him, I would want to go hide under a rock and not come back out. Busting each other's figurative balls was a trait we both had become experts at, but I really didn't want that to happen tonight. I wasn't exactly comfortable with him, yet. Hell, this would be the first time I was going to see him since we'd had sex. Ali and Jasper were already past the awkward stage. Hell, they were past it five minutes after meeting. I really didn't want anything to be ruined.

"Ali, I know how we usually act and talk, but can we just turn it down a couple notches tonight? I know Jasper is as sex crazed as you. You have a lot more experience and more nerve then I do right now. Just give me a few days to let me get the feel of him, please."

"Oh, you got the feel of him all right bitch, in your tight, warm pussy," Ali said, as she turned up the music to one of our favorite songs. We both looked at each other thinking about the words and the true meaning behind them.

_No, I don't know where I'm going  
>But, I sure know where I've been<br>Hanging on the promises  
>In songs of yesterday<br>An' I've made up my mind,  
>I ain't wasting no more time<em>

Ali's had a really shitty life; it hasn't been easy, but some of it had been her fault. Myself on the other hand, I had always been alone. Ali had been my constant. Whenever I thought I could rely on someone, they let me down; especially Renee. Ali always picked me back up and kept me going.

_Here I go again  
>Here I go again<em>

I hoped that Edward would be a constant in my life. I knew what I wanted, but I still did not know what he wanted. It was too early in our relationship to even think about the future, yet. However, it was all I could think about; him and I together, forever. I wanted the whole package: a wedding, babies, and the white picket fence … our entire future. Thinking about these things didn't help. I needed to get my head in check. I was still a _kid,_ and he was a _man_.

We pulled into 'Volturi Tavern,' and I gave Ali a pointed look. We both got out of the car laughing. We skipped into the bar holding hands. If anyone didn't know any better, they would've thought we were a couple. Jasper and Edward were sitting at the end of the bar with Emmett and this blonde that looked like she walked out of a magazine. She was leaning over Edward's chair whispering in his ear, at that moment. I turned for the door and started to walk out. Ali reached around and grabbed me, at the same time Edward caught sight of me. In an instant, he was on his feet walking over toward us. Ali took off yelling _Jazzy; _horrible nickname.

"Hi love," he said, right before he pressed his entire body against mine, pushing me up against the wall. We were in such a deep passionate kiss that I didn't even hear Emmett yelling at first.

"Hey, are you gonna fuck her against the wall, or are you going to let my Rosie met her?"

Well, Ali didn't embarrass me, but Emmett did. At least I knew Edward wasn't interested in the blonde. Since there was no hole to crawl into, I walked into the bar and all eyes were on us. I knew my face was red, and my lips were swollen from the kiss, but I really didn't care. He was mine, and I was his.

We sat down just as Ali had finished being introduced to Emmett and Rosalie. She was overwhelmed with Emmett. He was cute as a button and huge, not fat, but all muscle. I guessed him and Rosalie had been together for a couple years from the way they talked. It seemed they had been talking about getting engaged. Rosalie said hello to both of us, but seemed a little standoffish. She was like a walking brand whore; Ali and I were not that at all. Of course, we would love a Coach purse or whatever, but it wasn't something of top priority for us. Ali couldn't afford it, and I had to pay for my truck, insurance, and rent. Even though I lived at home with Renee, I was still made to pay her rent. Half the time, Ali and I wore each other's clothes mainly because we couldn't afford new ones.

"So Edward, how was last night? Did you guys have a good ti..." Ali asked. She was trying to keep it proper, but I know she was holding back.

"Bella ...why does your cheek have a black and blue mark on it?" Edward said, looking disgusted. He had cut Ali off. He was holding my chin and looking over my face at the same time.

"Alice Marie punched me," I spit out, so fast I didn't even think about it.

"What do you mean she punched you?"

"Well, I was driving, and she asked a question. I did not give her the answer she wanted. So, she punched me," I said laughing.

Edward groaned. I'm sure figuring out what Ali wanted to know about. He knew she was going to want all the dirty info from last night.

"It's not that big a deal, trust me. We have gotten into worse before. Just answer her question about last night before she starts swinging again," I finished as the bartender handed me a beer.

"The play was excellent, Alice. I highly recommend it. You and Jasper should go see it, but you can't ever seem to stop fucking each other. Then, Bella got to met Emmett and a few of my other friends, and we had a great night," Edward said to her very nonchalantly.

I almost spit my beer out all over Emmett and Jasper when I saw Ali's face. She was in between pissed, confused, and happy.

"Did you guys rehearse what you were going to tell everyone because that was the exact same answer I got from her," Ali yelled, slamming down her beer. Jasper was laughing behind her.

"I don't give a shit about the play. I want to know the dirty part of the night. All the fucking, sucking…"

"Alice, whatever happens between Bella and I is our business. If she wants to tell you, then that's her decision. I'm not one to kiss and tell." He cut her off and spoke with such devotion that I was just staring at him now.

After Ali finally let up on the sex questions, the night went great. We all drank and talked like we had know each other for ages. We played music on the Jukebox, and sang along with the songs we played. I think music was going to be _our thing_. It seemed that whenever we got together, we were singing. We had an uncanny liking for the same kind of music. The music I listened to was a weird collection; all different types and from all different eras. But, I just knew it was going to be something we shared.

After a long night at the bar, Rosalie started to warm up to us a little more, and we all decided to get together again later in the week. Edward and I were talking about going to the Circus in a couple weeks, and I asked him if we could take Ali's girls with us. They had been begging me to take them somewhere without their mom, and I knew they would love the circus, if he was cool with it. He agreed without a blink of an eye and that really surprised me. Most guys didn't want to be bothered with kids, let alone someone else's.

We decided to call it a night, since I was drunk and so was Ali. Jasper and Ali took my truck and went back to his house. Edward offered to drive me home; I had no problem. Knowing Renee was gone for the night, I was hoping for a repeat of last night. Maybe this time I would be a little less nervous. We talked all the way back to my house, and I was really loosening up around him. We really did get along well, even with the big age difference.

When we finally got back to my house, I asked if he wanted to come in, and he agreed. We decided on the whole movie thing again, and I popped one in. We lay down on my bed next to each other and started talking, and the talking lead to touching. He leaned forward and placed his hand on the side of my face, and I started to tingle immediately. We slowly leaned toward each other, and when our mouths touched, the fire in my body ignited again. There was no need to ask for entrance this time because he took my breath away. Our tongues rubbed together like they were fighting for dominance of each other.

He slowly rolled himself on top of me, running his hand under my shirt, heading straight for my breasts. He slowly pulled my bra down below my right tit to free it from its confines. He gently massaged my breast and then gave the tightened nipple a tweak; I let out a little gasp. I still wasn't really comfortable with vocalizing the pleasure he gave me. He then went to the left and did the same. He seemed so happy with himself when my nipple pebbled between his fingers.

Reaching down to the hem of his shirt, I pulled it over his head. I started to kiss on his jaw and neck, all the while rubbing my hands up and down his back. He moaned lightly as my hands caressed his taut muscles of his back. He pulled from my arms and sat up on his knees. Then, he reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head. He ran his hands up my sides, wrapping them around my back to unhook my bra. While he pulled the hooks open, he leaned down and took one nipple in his mouth. As the straps from my bra went slack against my body, falling off my shoulders, he reached down and palmed my other breast. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips. He chuckled, causing the vibrations from his vocal chords to wash over my sensitive flesh. I rubbed my thighs together, needing friction there as he looked up at me from his position on my breast.

The look in my eyes and the rubbing of my thighs must have clued him into the fact that I need more … so much more. He sat back up, abandoning my breast, and started to unbutton my jeans. Running his hands slowly along the waistband, he began to pull down the zipper, while never losing contact with my eyes. I wanted to grab a pillow and cover my face, but I couldn't break away from his mesmerizing gaze. Once the zipper was down, he pulled off both my pants and thong in one swoop. I lay there completely naked in front of him, nervous and really wanting to cover myself up with a sheet. But, his eyes and facial expression were so peaceful and relaxed that I started to calm down.

"So beautiful," he moaned, as he lifted up my leg and kissed my ankle. The gentle kisses didn't stop there. In fact, he was working his way up toward my knee. He then moved over to the left leg, repeating the same actions he had done on the right. Every nerve ending in my body was awake and alive, fire coursed through my veins, and wet desire dripped from my core. I knew the bed would be soaked from the moisture he caused to seep from my pussy. This time instead of stopping at my knee on the left, he continued up towards my weeping sex. I squirmed on my bed wanting him closer to where I needed to feel his touch. When I thought he was going to finally reach the promise land, he started alternating legs with kisses, causing me to groan in frustration. He looked up at me when the sounds left my lips, making me focus once again on his eyes. A part of me was too embarrassed to look at him, but I could see the smile that played on his face.

"Bella, don't look away. I want to see your beautiful eyes. I love your beautiful blue eyes."

The whore he was turning me into leaned up on my elbows and watched him work his way up to my wet core. In a quick motion, he let his tongue run right up my wet slit, putting much wanted pressure on my bundle of nerves. My head fell back then as I gasped for air. He didn't stay there though, but slipped his fingers inside of me as he continued his kissing up my stomach to my chest, neck, jaw, and back to my lips. He slid up next to me. I used his position to undo the buttons of his pants and slip my hands into the waistband of his boxers. The rhythm of his fingers inside of me increased, until I was a panting mess. I had lost focus on getting his pants off of him. When I went back to shoving his pants down, he added another finger and used his thumb to add pressure to my clit. He curved his fingers inside me and hit a spot I didn't even know existed before. I knew in that instant that this man was going to be the death of me. Well, death by sex wasn't a bad way to go.

When he pulled his fingers out of me, I finished pushing his pants down, exposing his hard cock to the elements of the room, which caused him to hiss from the coolness. I smirked at him, gaining a little bit of confidence. Showing me up, he took the fingers that had been pleasuring me and placed them in his mouth and sucked my flavor off of them. I was completely dazzled by Edward.

He crawled between my legs and thrust himself into me hard. It took everything in me not to scream out his name. He leaned down and kissed me with a fiery passion. I could taste myself on him and didn't know if that was hot or gross; that was for sure going to come up in a conversation with Ali. I really was leaning more towards fuck hot at this point.

The smell of sex permeated the air, causing him to buck wildly into me and the feelings were more intense than the last time. Edward grunted and moaned as he pushed in and out of my body. I wasn't any better, moaning every time he hit the spot in me that made my toes curl. I looked into his eyes and watched a trickle of sweat run down from his sexy hair. Just watching him and feeling him did things to my body that I never knew existed before.

"God, Bella … so good," he grunted, thrusting inside of me as sweat dripped from his body onto mine. Moaning loudly and needing more, I wrapped my legs around his waist tighter. I felt the buildup of sensations in my stomach and knew I was getting close; I think he could tell, too. He looked down into my eyes with desire.

"Cum with me, Bella."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Edward and I were together every day and after a couple months; we became closer to each other. I wasn't that scared little kid anymore. Yes, Edward was still a _man _in my eyes and I didn't think that would ever change. But, he had a way of making me feel so comfortable around him that I never had to worry about not being myself. He accepted the wild, crazy girl that I was without an argument to change; he had to have liked me that way. Hell, I was still trying to figure that part out.

In the back of my mind, I always thought that I was in love with Edward. Ali told me using her 'psychic abilities' that he would love me too. However, I hadn't admitted it aloud to myself. It was a Friday night and I was getting ready to go out. The six of us were going to see a friend of mine and Ali's. They were in a band, 'Breaking Dawn', one of our good friends Jessica was the singer, Mike played bass, Tyler guitar and Ben on drums. Ali and I had always gone to their shows. Now, Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Rosie were coming with us. They had been to a few over the past few months, but things would start to pick up with their shows. We were basically their groupies.

I had told Renee about our relationship, I had to after running into Lauren on the first night. Knowing that Lauren wouldn't be able to keep her fucking mouth shut. It wouldn't surprise me if that wasn't the first thing she said to Renee on Monday morning at work, but I wouldn't have been surprised if hadn't already called her from the bar that night. Ugh, she's still such a jealous bitch; I can't understand why he can't see it. Renee is not thrilled about the relationship but there is not much she can do I am an adult and so is Edward. She tried pulling the "not under my roof" bullshit, but I then reminded her I pay her rent so it is my roof too. I didn't know for sure but I think Renee was planning on coming up to the bar that the band was playing at. She was friends with Mike's mom, and a couple other people we knew were going also. This would make for an interesting night.

The bar wasn't too crowded when we got there; this was a new place they were playing. It was normally a country bar but it had a great dance floor; a necessity for Ali and I. They also had the high table and chairs, so much better than regular tables, especially when drunk. Renee did show up but had her happy face on in front of everyone; she really could put on the act when she wanted too. A few people from the office that Edward and Renee work with were also there, along with the bitch. I was not going to let her anywhere near him tonight that was for sure. I was staking my claim. Everyone mingled and got along really well the drinks were flowing, so were the shots. The 'love' word, weighed heavy on my mind. I knew the band had gotten Jessica a cordless mic for her birthday, _God help us all_. At least the cord kept her wild ass on the stage. They had also been practicing some new songs and I knew they were gonna play them tonight. Jessica sang Janis like it was nobody's business, and Janis' songs were the most special to me, especially now. I knew one of the new songs she was going to sing and I really couldn't wait for Edward to hear it, it was really the first song we had ever talked about.

Edward and I were beyond hiding our relationship. I was a little nervous with the people from his work bring here since some of them had known me for years, but I got over that. I had to good of a thing to let someone of no importance ruin it. He came back to the table with a beer for both of us and Emmitt brought a tray of shots, good Lord that boy would kill me. Edward moved his stool so I was still sitting on mine and him on his but I somehow ended up between his legs. I loved to just lay my head back against his chest so I could feel his closeness to me.

"Are you having fun tonight?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Of course I am, I with you."

"Even though all the people from my work are here," he looked at me with that questioning face.

"Yes, let's show them all you belong to me," I said as I crawled around on my knees on the stool, to place a not so gentle kiss on his lips. I loved the way his lips felt. When we separated I caught Lauren looking over at us out of the corner of my eye. I blew her a kiss over Edwards shoulder. It took everything in me not to hop across the tables and beat her ass. I just couldn't figure out her problem. Edward never said anything about her, so I really didn't bring it up. I was not in the mood for her shit tonight though.

The shots Emmett had brought over were some of our favorite Jager and Pucker. We had them lined up in rows and downing them while singing and dancing around the table. The dress I had on showed my tattoo that I had that matched Ali's on my left thigh and the other one I had on my right.

"Bella, you are driving me mad this dress is too short," Edward whispered into my ear as I took back another shot. He ran his hands along my thighs where my tattoos are going a little too high for being in public, but I really didn't care. Then across my stomach where my eternity symbol tattoo and first piercing was. He loved my tattoos...and piercings all three of them.

"Bellie, come on! Let's go dance," Ali was pulling me out of Edwards's arms with Rosie hot on our tale. There really was not a song that I didn't like that they sang and it was a huge variety that they covered. We were dancing to 'Black Velvet' a great song, slow and sexy. I knew it was coming to the end of the first set when Jess announced they were going to play a new song before they took a break. We didn't know what it was so we walked back to our seats, with more shots in front of us the music started. I downed it quick so I could sing along, so happy they finally decided to do a Heart song.

"I hear the ticking of the clock, I'm lying here the room's pitch dark…" I smile at Ali "…I wonder where you are tonight, no answer on the telephone," all us girls sang the song word for word. Edward was standing over by the bar now watching me. I was watching him too, that didn't bother me anymore. As I kept singing along we never let our eyes part.

"You don't know how long I have waited, and I was gonna tell you tonight, but my secret is still my own…" I was in love with him "….and my love for you was still unknown, alone," There was no way I was going to tell him, but here I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. I dropped my eyes as soon as that thought entered my mind, what the hell is going to happen if he doesn't love me back? I looked back over at him quickly to see him walking toward me and that's when I saw Renee's face. _She knew._

She knew this relationship I had was not just an infatuation with an older man like she was hoping, or me clinging onto someone who could not give me anything I wanted back in return. She knew I was in love with him and I was going to pay dearly for it. I needed to get away from her and out of her house if this was ever going to work with Edward; she had too much control over me. I was an adult for God sake why couldn't she let me live my life and be happy with whom I wanted to be with. I couldn't go live with Ali. Jasper had moved Ali and her girls in without a blink of an eye; he treats those girls like his own. I was really happy for here. I just hope she didn't fuck it up. She is different with him, they work. I couldn't let Renee ruin my night I was having too much fun.

Edward got back to the table just as the band went on break, of course so he would be able to question me about the song. He leaned over and kissed me just as Lauren piped in.

"So Edward, you know the company Christmas party is next month who are you bring with you as your date?"

This bitch was going down once and for all, I had had enough. I stood up on the foot rest of the chair which I really didn't have to do because she was all of five feet to begin with plus she was so chunky, why Ali and I referred to her as an Oompa Loompa. I tried to leap over the table to grab her but Edward got a hold of me around the waist first, I got a hold of her hair though and I wasn't letting go. I pulled her about two inches away from her face.

"Listen bitch, if he takes a date it is going to be me; I don't know what your obsession is with him. I know you want to fuck him, but he is MINE, do you understand me. I don't want to see you talking to him or even looking at him again or I will rip your fucking face off. Understand," it came out as venom but it felt so good.

"Bells, I have to use the bathroom come with me," Ali grabbed my arm and pulled me with her.

"I will cut you bitch," I was yelling as I was dragged away by Ali.

Ali turned around to look at Lauren who was still standing there speechless smoothing down her hair. She put her fingers to her eyes then pointed them back to her, just to let her know we were watching. We got into the bathroom and not a minute later Rosie came barreling in gasping for air holding out pack of smokes. Ali lit up two, and handed me one.

"That was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life, you made her cry. Bwahhhhhhhhhh."

Rosie had Ali going now; I was just too pissed still. Here I am in love with a man who might not love me back and this girl is fucking stalking him. I calmed myself down enough to start to find the humor in it.

"He's gonna flip, when I go out there, he has never seen that side of me."

"He actually thought it was sexy as fuck Bella, you have nothing to be worried about," Rosie reassured me.

I will for sure hear it from Renee since she's her minion or something. We walked out of the bathroom just as the band was taking the stage, thank God for small favors. No one could really talk to me now. I got back to the table and Emmett had a shit eating grin on his face.

"Bella doesn't like to share I see…" that got him a smack in the back of the head. We all burst out into a fit of laughter at that point I guess it blew over. Jessica started talking, so we all quieted down to listen to her.

"If this was not such good friends of yours, I would drag you out the back door and fuck you against the wall. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen," Edward said to me planting a deep kiss on my lips. The only response I had was to kiss him back. At least he was not mad at me.

"This is another new song, and it goes out to a very special person. You will know who you are," she winked in our direction and I just giggled. She started to sing the first song that Edward and I had ever heard together. He looked at me and laughed. Even if it was not a complete song the first time, it was still a special song in my mind and I knew he would love it.

Jessica hopped off the stage and started walking towards us we were all singing along with her not a word missed. She got to me first and pushed me out of the way to get to Edward, I was kind of shocked at first but the cordless mic and Jess, something was bound to happen. She then got to Edward and straddled him on the chair, he was laughing and I was too. I was not worried in the least; she was to in love with Ben to even have that thought in her mind.

"When he started sweet talking to me, he'd come and tell me everythings alright…" she was rubbing all over him now "…He'd kiss and tell me everything is alright."

She hopped off and moved her way back to the stage. She knew not to press her luck to much or they would take her new toy away.

"Can I get away again tonight," she bellowed. With all of us in the background, the night continued the same. We had so much fun and no more temper tantrums we thrown by anyone, namely myself. Jessica did get Ben a little upset or another patron did. When the drum stick came flying off the stage and nailed the guy in the head that was dancing a little too close for his liking, it's was safe to say she stayed on the stage the rest of the night.

Everyone said their goodnights and I was staying with Edward that night again, I never felt so safe in his arms. Once we were in his car he asked if I would go to the Christmas party with him. Not only would I have to face Lauren again, but Renee would be there because she planned it along with everyone they worked with them including my uncle and they would all know that we were together.

"Absolutely, there is nothing I love more than being with you," that was as close as I was going to get.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

_**Sorry for the delay in updates RL has been crazy! I plan on updating on a much more regular basis. We have the rough drafts to Chapter 13 prewritten. Enjoy!**_

The Christmas party was quickly approaching; I had yet to find something nice and _appropriate_ to wear. Appropriate was Renee's word for not wanting me _flaunting my shit._ She really was funny, sometimes. Of course, I didn't have money to go buy something. So, I went with a pair of black pants and one of her tops that I thought were appropriate, but she said looked like they were painted on. I couldn't help it I was blessed in the chest area. Fuck that! They were HUGE! I had a hard time getting clothes to fit. Blessing wasn't what I would call them. Then, add the fact that my waist was tiny and there was no way of hiding them. In fact, my little waistline made them look a lot bigger! I'm quite shocked I never toppled over from the uneven weight it placed on my frame. When I was younger, I was embarrassed, but now … I used them to my advantage. If you got it...flaunt it, right?

The dressy silver tank top, I choose wasn't "proper," but I was still young. Hell, I refused to look or wear clothes that made me look old. Renee had to sew and pin the top in a few spots to make it fit. I spun around in front of my floor length mirror, getting a good look at myself. Actually, I thought I cleaned up pretty good. I made sure that everything was covered and turned for Renee to see. I was shocked when she gave me a compliment, and left the room.

Hoping Edward didn't have to take me to the emergency room, instead of the Christmas Party. However, the way I looked; I worried that Edward would have a heart attack when he saw me.

Edward picked me up at my house, and we headed to the party. The party was at a hotel; Edward suggested that we book a room for the night because both wanted to drink. I quickly agreed because the hotel was a good forty minutes away, and neither of us had to worry about driving home. I had never been to the place before, but Edward had. He said it was pretty nice.

This was the first time we were technically going somewhere as a couple and I was a little nervous. It wasn't like all the other times we had gone out. All those times, we had basically been at the same place, at the same time. I didn't even know why I was nervous really. I had gotten over my nerves when it came to Edward it was just a matter of going to go with the flow of things.

Edward reached down and grabbed my hand leading me over to the desk to get the keys for our room. We settled everything into our room before headed back downstairs to enjoy the festivities. We walked into the ballroom, hand in hand, and I quickly surveyed the area. I knew that the worst part of the night was going to be Lauren. Since my diffused attack, I didn't know how she was going to react. However, I wasn't backing down, even if we had to go another round. I didn't give a flying fuck if the president was going to be here tonight, because nothing would stand in my way if she opened her damn mouth.

We were about fifteen minutes late and the cocktails had already been served. We got something to drink and stood around at the tables talking with a few of Edward's friends, basically just shooting the shit about nothing in particular. I couldn't take my eyes off Edward; I loved seeing him dressed up in a suit and tie. The thoughts of him tying me up popped into my head, again. I really needed to get my mind out of the gutter; we were at a Christmas party after all.

"Bella … Edward, I am so glad to see you. You both look great!" Renee had her fake face going tonight, all was happy in her world, it seemed to an outsider. She walked over, giving us both a hug. I tried not to roll my eyes at her, and plastered the same fake smile across my face.

"Thanks Mom, great party."

"Hi Renee, it's good to see you," Edward said while grabbing my hand.

"Come on guys, let's go sit down and eat, they are getting ready to serve dinner," Renee said as she walked toward the party room.

We both followed her, not happily; however, we weren't going to cause a scene, especially here. We sat down at the table, and I saw Lauren look over at us. She waved and mouthed hello quickly. It made me laugh out loud, I guess I scared her. Renee shot me a disapproving look. I shrugged my shoulders in response to her. Conversations flowed around the table; I even chimed in a time or two always getting the disapproving look from my mother.

Dinner went well considering we were stuck at the table with Renee. I really did enjoy myself, but only because Edward kept putting his hand on my thigh under the table. I think it was to make me less nervous, but all it did was make me hornier. The hosts did a couple speeches, awarded the staff with a couple of awards, and wished everyone a Merry Christmas. By the time dessert was served, I was feeling pretty good.

Once dinner was over, Edward and I decided to go to the bar, I stood in front of Edward with my back pressed close to his. I knew the moment his body reacted to mine, causing me to shiver as his hard cock rubbed up against my ass.

"I am really tired."

I turned to look at him, hoping I was being seductive, but casual in my response. I hoped he caught on quickly because I could feel the achy growing between my legs as his cock rubbed up and down. He leaned over and kissed me on the lips. I could see he knew what I wanted; his eyes turned a deep dark the wanting shade they always turned when he wanted me. With that look, I was ready to attack right there.

"We're gonna call it a night guys," Edwards said to the people that were at the bar, as he put his arm around my waist. Renee was standing there watching us.

"Don't you need your coat Isabella?" she spit.

"No, we got a room for the night," I said as we walked out the door. Edward's arm still wrapped securely around me. I wasn't turning back to see what she or anyone else had to say. I wanted out of there and away from them, but I also wanted to get him alone and fast.

We walked to the elevator doors and pushed the button. As I looked up at him, he crashed his lips to mine. The kiss was powerful, if his arms weren't wrapped around my body, I would have fallen over from the force.

Edward must have heard the elevator doors open because the next thing I knew, he was pushing me backwards into the elevator. I felt the cool wall against my back as he pressed his body against mine. We broke apart for a minute to catch our breath, and to hit the button for the floor. I leaned forward pressing floor seventeen, I liked my lips and readied myself to turn and attack him, but he beat me too it. He didn't relent either, pressing me into the panel of the buttons. He pressed me harder against the wall than he had before, but I didn't care because I could feel his arousal through his pants. I moaned as his body rubbed up against mine so deliciously. He spun me around and slammed me into the wall on the opposite side of the elevator. He lift me up, so I could wrapped my legs around his waist. I knew what he wanted because I wanted it too. His cock slid right into place causing the most erotic pressure in just the right spot. He had me so wet already that I knew he could feel the moisture through my pants.

His fingers dug into my ass as he grabbed me, I reached for anything on him I could grab a hold of. We had never been like this before; he was getting a little rough. I loved it and wanted more. I rubbed myself up and down on his cock. He helped me along and had me to the point of wanting to scream his name. The way his dick was rubbing my clit and the way he was treating me brought me to orgasm so fast. He crashed his mouth back over mine, covering my screams of pleasure. That was all we needed, complaints that someone was screaming on the elevator.

The door opened on our floor, I tried to jump down, but Edward wasn't letting me. He carried me to our room. I mouth never left his body; I peppered kisses down his face, jaw and shoulder. I had started removing his clothes on the way down the hall. His tie was the first to go, and I slipped it around my neck. I pushed his coat off his shoulders causing them to catch in his elbows. When we got to the door, he held me against it while he tried to open it with the key. When the door finally flew open we didn't hesitate and went right in landing on the floor, laughing. Edward kicked the door closed.

When we fell, Edward landed right on top of me between my legs just where I wanted him to be.

"Look how fucking wet you are for me, I can see it right through your clothes," he moaned, looking down at me rubbing his hand over my covered wet pussy.

"God, I want to taste you."

I wanted that too and pulled his coat off his body, I ripped his shirt open as buttons flew everywhere. I couldn't help it. I wanted to feel him naked against my body. I wanted him inside me, and I wanted it now!

He stood and finished taking his clothes off, before he could move I got up on my knees. I looked up at him and licked my lips. I had never really done this, so I figured what the hell. Ali said guys loved it so, I was willing to try. I loved him so much that I would give him anything he wanted. My body was overwhelmed with feelings. I tried to focus on what I was doing and what Ali or even Rosie had told me, or I had seen in those stupid movies.

"Bella, you don't have to do that," Edward said as he looked down at me, but I could see the want and lust in his eyes. I took him in my hand. I licked just the tip; I could taste the small amount of pre come. I swirled it around with my tongue teasing the top of him. It wasn't so bad, I thought before sliding him in my mouth; I let him go all the way back till he hit the back of my throat. Feeling brave and proud to have made it so far, I began pulling him in and out of my mouth. I used my spit and hands for what did not fit. The noises he made as my lips around him turned me on even more. When his hands fisted my hair, I didn't mind. And, when he started rocking his hips back and forth fucking my mouth with his cock; I really did love pleasing him. The louder he moaned the bigger my smile grew. I never took my eyes off of him and watched as his eyes closed and his jaw tightened. I knew he needed more and decided to start massaging his balls.

"Bella," he groaned.

"You need … to stop."

"I want to fuck you," he panted.

"I don't want to come ... in your mouth."

Jerking me up off the floor, he stood me up in front of his naked body. Pulling my top over my head and reaching around my body to unhook my bra. He started to kiss me again, working his way his way down my neck. I could feel his hot breath on me before he would kiss; he sucked my earlobe into his mouth. I slipped my hands down to my pants and pulled them down my body feeling the cool wetness drip down my legs.

Edward slid his hand down to mine; pulling away from my body he led us over to the bed. I pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. Now, the only thing between him entering me was a thing piece of wet fabric.

"These have to go," he said as he ripped them from my body. I let out a gasp, not knowing if it was from shock or excitement. I knew I was going to have a mark in the morning, but I didn't care. The passion between us was unbearable.

"I'll buy you a new pair," Edward whispered between kisses. I had to laugh at him.

He flipped me over, putting his body on top of mine. He pulled both my legs over his shoulders and slammed into me hard; I couldn't help but let out a cry of passion. He drove in so deep this way, and he wasn't being gentle about it. I on the other hand, loved it. I loved how he wasn't treating me like a china doll.

His lips were all over mine as his body pumped in and out of my body. He was pounding into me hard and rough causing us to gasp for air as he worked me over. He sat up on his knees and pulled me up against his chest. We were a sweaty mess of limbs and skin.

"Bella …I …," Edward said, looking into my eyes with both his hands on the side of my face. I didn't know what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and kissed me with such meaning and passion. I was lost in the feelings again.

We were both getting close to our climax; he reached down and started rubbing my clit. I could feel the buildup in my stomach; I was getting close and he could tell. I knew he was too, by the way his legs were responding and how he was thrusting up inside of me.

"Come with me Bella, I want to see that beautiful face the same time I explode inside you."

A couple more thrusts and I could feel him starting to pulsate, as his seed spilled inside of me; he looked me right in the eyes and pinched my clit, that was all I needed pushing me over the edge. I could have sworn I heard him say "I love you," but I really was caught up in the moment.

Our bodies were one in a complete euphoric feeling, when my orgasm finally started to come to a lull I could see the smile on Edward's face. We both collapsed onto the bed.

"That was beautiful love," Edward whispered as we curled into each other and pulled the covers over ourselves. We lay there in each other's arms for a while, his head was on my chest and I was running my hands over his head and back. When I could tell he had finally drifted asleep; I lay there thinking about what I thought I heard him say. I didn't know if I had heard him correctly or not. There was no way I was going to ask him. He started to stir a little in his sleep, which he did sometimes when he drank. That's when I heard him, I thought he had woken up, but he was still sleeping.

"I love you, my Bella."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

With the night of the Christmas party weight on my mind. I know he said it, but he said it while he was sleeping; so I am not sure he wants me to know or not. We had made it through Christmas without Renee driving us too crazy. And, decided to have a big party at Tanya and Garrett's house for New Years Eve. It was a monumental turn to a New Year; it was going to be the year 2000. Everyone was so afraid that the world was going to end, and no one knew what was really going to happen. There was even speculation that all the computers wouldn't be able to turn from ninety nine to double zeros. All of us really didn't think anything of it, but some were to the point of thinking Armageddon was upon us.

Tanya, Ali, Rosie and I decorated the house, and got the food and everything ready. The guys went and picked up the kegs and liquor. The house looked good, we tried to put all the important stuff out of the way, just so nothing would get broken. The party was a big hit, people I had not seen in years came to say hello and see everyone. Some of the guys, Edward included were playing cards and the girls were dancing in the living room. Even a few of the old timers from 'Twilight' stopped by. It really was nice to see everyone. Feeling alive and happy for once, Tanya and I decided to run down the street to a friends from high school who was having a party, and invite them back to her place.

We had the TV on watching as all the other countries celebrated the New Year, so the few that were worried were put at ease, that we were all going to live another day. As it got closer to midnight, the living room started to fill up. I went to find Edward because I wanted to be able to kiss him as the clock struck twelve. Edward found me first, and kissed me quick on the lips then smiled. Ali had passed out confetti to everyone, and made sure everyone had something to drink. I was laughing at her craziness, since she was wrapped around Jasper's back now counting.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…" he pulled my cheek towards my face and smiled "…five, four, three, two…"

Then his lips were on mine and that undeniable heat was there again. I was instantly wet and horney. He pulled back a little quicker than normal.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too," I said, as a single tear slipped from my eye and kissed him hard again.

Jasper, Ali, Edward and I were going to visit Ali's parents, since she and the girls had moved in with Jasper. Her parents had went back home to Seattle to take care of her Dad's mother. It was a long drive, but we always had the most fun when we were all together. We had brought our CD collection with us on this trip and were taking turns deciding on what we were going to listen too. I popped in a CD with a lot of music from the sixties and seventies. I was scanning through when a song I had not heard in years came on. It instantly reminded me of Edward. I couldn't help myself, but sing it to him either.

"Mr. Big Stuff, Who do you think you are? Mr. Big Stuff…your never gonna get my love," I sang as he laughed.

"Now, because you wear all those fancy clothes, and have a big fine car, oh yes you do now." I was pointing at him and then at his car because it was nice and fancy. Plus, he had to wear a suit and tie to work everyday. The song just fit him perfect. Ali and Jasper were laughing and so was Edward. I was too, but I kept singing.

"Do you think I can afford to give you my love? You think you're higher than every star above..." I tried to keep going but he just crashed his mouth into mine both laughing.

The rest of the ride to Seattle was just as crazy.

'Breaking Dawn' was playing again this weekend, so we all decided to have a relaxing night out. It had been forever since I had seen Alec and his boyfriend, Felix. I missed Alec so much since he moved. When we went to school he was one of mine and Ali's best friends, and was always with us. Once he got out of the house he came out, which we all knew, and he moved away.

Ali and Jasper got a babysitter for the night, and Rosie and Emmett were going to meet us too. It had been a while since all six of us had gone out together, it might have even been the night I went after Lauren. Thank God since that night she has kept her ass in check.

"What's up bitches," I yelled as we walked into the bar. Edward had come to pick me up, and I was running late getting ready. When he walked into my room, I was wearing nothing but my bra and panties. Edward slammed me against the wall and ravaged my body with his. My panties didn't stand a chance as his hands laced into them ripping them at the seams. I wasn't much better as his cock entered my body and he drove me over the edge, I panted like the wanting whore he had turned me into.

"It's about time you got here, what the fuck have you two been doing?" Rosie asked.

"Look at that bitches hair and the marks down her back, she was fucked long and hard," Felix said while passing shots out to everyone.

"God, how I have missed you guys, come and give me kisses," I said jumping Alec and Felix at the same time.

"Jager?" Emmett asked, as he handed me a shot. I took it from him no questions asked. Edward walked back over with a beer for me. One thing I would never be was a fufu drink snob. I was a very simple girl, I could hang with the boys like the best of them. I would go on the back of Edward's motorcycle, on his snowmobile and just play around in the dirt no questions asked. I liked my heels and dresses, but I loved my jeans and chucks.

"Enough drinking let's go dance," Ali yelled. She was drunk and dragging us onto the dance floor. We loved dancing, it was so much fun and just cause even more chaos among us. Felix came to the dance floor bearing shot after shot for all of us; we drank them down like champs.

We were dancing to 'Get Back' originally sung by The Beatles. We were all bouncing all over the dance floor when I looked over toward the table and saw a girl talking to Edward. I saw Jasper and Emmett watching him and then glancing over to me. I looked over at Rosie, and saw the look on her face. _Who the fuck was this bitch now?_

I decided to walk over and see what was going on, Emmett noticed I was coming towards them, and let Edward know. He turned toward me and smiled right away, pulling me into his lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck, and laid a big juicy kiss on his lips.

"Bella, this is Victoria an old friend. Victoria this is my girlfriend Bella."

"I see you are going after the young ones now, huh Edward?" Victoria sneered.

I was mid-air when Emmett jumped in front of me this time, but Ali got her from behind with Alec and Felix as her guards. That's when I saw it happen, it was like slow motion. Felix and Alec were holding her friends out of the way while Ali grabbed her by her hair smashing her face into the table. Thank God, she turned her head or she would have broke her nose. I laughed, Jasper was pissed. Victoria's friends grabbed her, and dragged her into the bathroom.

I didn't miss a beat and when the songs changed from Rush to 'I touch myself' by The Divinyls. Edward was holding me by my waist, I was right in front of him basically giving him a lap dance to the song.

"I love myself, I want you to love me. When I feel down…" I had bent my knees and shimmed my way down to the floor "...I want you above me. I search myself, I want you to find me," I sang, as I rubbed my hands all over Edward.

"You are a dirty girl Bella, you are just asking for it aren't you," Edward said right before he licked and bit my ear. Making me even more crazy, I continued my lap dance for all to see. By the second time, the chorus came on I had Edward hard as a rock.

"I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself. Ooh, I don't wa…" my singing was cut off by Edwards lips. I was grinding all over him sing in his ear I was wet and he was hard.

"I really love you both but I don't need to see you to fucking on the chair in a bar," Rosie said as she downed another shot. I pulled away and laughed. Edward grabbed me and said we were leaving, I had no problem with his demands.

"Later guys. We'll talk to you tomorrow," Edward said fist pounding his friends.

"Road head rules dude," Emmett yelled, as we were walking out of the bar. We both looked at each other and laughed.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

I can't even remember how the conversation came up about us moving in together, but it did. Before I knew it, Edward was looking for jobs out of the state. I was so happy to get the hell out of this town and the hell away from Renee. Edward was taking me with him when he left this shit hole town. He must really love me.

He went on a few different job interviews in different cities. I took him and dropped him off at the airport, a few times. It felt like he was taking my heart with him, every time he left. But, he always came back home, home to me. We finally decided on where we were going to move and when we would be leaving. Edward had furniture and stuff from living on his own previously, so we really didn't need anything. The only thing of mine I was going to take was my clothes, and few odds and ends.

Renee gave me hell, once she found out I was leaving with him; by this time I was twenty years old and there was nothing she could do to stop me. I was in love with him; he was my forever, my future. She tried every way possible to sabotage my happiness; she told me he was going to take me with him and then cheat on me when he found something or someone better, which men always did according to her. According to her, I was ruining my life. She tried everything and kept telling me, he was going to knock me up then leave me, and take the baby. And, how after that I would never see it again. It wore me down; I really was getting to a breaking point. I was not going to let her win. I wanted a life with him.

It was non-stop every day with Renee, telling me bullshit about me leaving with Edward. I hated it. I tried to ignore her as much as possible, but it was such a constant. It was always on the back of my mind. I spent as much time as possible out of the house as I could; especially since we were leaving I spent a lot of time at Jasper and Ali's house and with their girls. I would miss them more than anything.

We finally figured out when we were leaving, and quickly arranged an apartment and how to get our stuff out of there. Carlisle, Edwards's dad was going to drive a U-haul with a trailer pulling my truck, Edward and I was to follow in his car; Carlisle would fly home. My truck was in Renee's name and I was still on her insurance. Hell, I paid everything. She tried to pull shit on me, and tell me that I couldn't take it. She bitched and fussed until we had it transferred into mine and Edward's name. It was just another one of her ways to try to stop us from going.

She thought, by trying to pull the shit with my truck, that it would somehow keep me home. She knew with my age, and Edward and I not being married that it would be hard to figure out the insurance issue. Between transferring the truck into our names and getting everything ready it was going to cost us five hundred dollars to do it. She knew that, hell I should have just said 'fuck it' and left the truck there in her name and made her deal with the payments. But, I wouldn't do that.

We had been lying low lately, first trying to save money because of the move. The company Edward got a job with was helping with relocating fees, but we still needed to save money. I didn't have a job right away when we got there. The interview I set up was not for two weeks after we arrived. Plus, I had been fighting the flu or something for a few weeks, and could not shake it. I brushed it off as stress and nerves from Renee.

We had one more night out with everyone at a 'Breaking Dawn' show. That seemed the best way to say goodbye to all our friends. The night went great, we drank, danced and sang. It was a great night, we got to say goodbye to our friends and a few family members too. When the final song started, I don't know what happened, but Ali and I just looked at each other, and took each other in our arms and started to cry. She was pregnant with her third daughter, and of course was sober. I had drunk some, but I was not drunk but the emotions just overtook the both of us.

I loved Ali; she was all I really ever had. She had Jasper now, and I was happy for her and her girls. Poor Jasper, with another one on the way, but he took it all in stride. Edward just smiled and held me when we finally let each other go. I don't know what he was thinking, but I was assuming he knew it was hard for me to leave Ali. I knew, I would have Edward by my side, and I had never not had Ali there for anything.

It was finally the day we were set to leave, everything was packed. Edward was at home, and I told Renee I would stay with her for a little before heading over to Edward's house. I still don't know why I agreed to it, she cried and told me I was ruining my life. I sat there trying to hold back my tears because she was the one ruining my life. She could never leave me alone long enough to let me grow up and have my own life. She had to have her nose in all of my business. I couldn't take anymore.

"I have to go mom, Edward is waiting for me."

She couldn't even talk she was crying so hard. She pulled me into a hug and wouldn't let me go. I finally got free and walked out the door. I got in my truck, lit a smoke and pulled out the driveway. I felt relief the minute I pulled out of that driveway, but there was a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I got to Edward's parents house, it was late and everyone was sleeping. Edward said just come in and come up to his room. So that's just what I did, I found him in his bed. I crawled in with him and snuggled up close to him; he was still awake when I got there.

"How did it go with Renee?"

"She put the blame on hard and cried the entire time, I'm glad I'm out of there," I said and kissed his lips. I was still crying a little, but he never asked me about it. Just took the pads of his thumbs and rubbed the tears away.

There was no wild and crazy sex that night, there was not even any making love. It was just me lying content in Edward's arms, with him holding me telling me how much he loved me. I knew, I was doing the right thing, and this was the beginning of our new life together, and I couldn't wait to start it.

We only got a couple of hours of sleep, since we were leaving at a strange hour. Edward and his Dad were planning on driving straight to our new home. _Our home. _That was the most wonderful feeling in the world. We got in the car and followed Carlisle onto the highway; I put on a CD of all our favorite music and turned around to look out the back window. I watched as our city faded away behind us. I curled up on the pillow and blanket Edward told me to bring and grabbed his hand, closed my eyes. I couldn't wait to start my new life with him.

_**I just wanted to let you all know this is where the story will start to get a bit angsty...also; my Edward and Bella are very normal people. They don't come from money, wealth or well to do families. They have to struggle, and live paycheck to paycheck like most people do these days so do their friends.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

We got to 'our new home' I would never get sick of hearing or thinking that. We started to unpack everything and I was a little overwhelmed. I was living with _a boy _first of all, but I had never had a home life really. How do I take care of a house? I guessed, I would figure it out. We unloaded the truck, Edward and Carlisle started to put together what furniture needed to be; I decided to unpack the kitchen. We decided to take a break and go get lunch; we went to local restaurant just down the block from our apartment.

I was looking around to see what was close in shopping and food places. I knew we were going to have to grocery shop soon, and that thought scared me even more now. I didn't know how to cook. I can make Mac and Cheese, eggs and grilled cheese. What have I gotten myself in to? Edward was going to send me home within the week. _Return to sender. _My grandma was coming to visit in for a few days, so I was hoping she would give me a few pointers.

We were sitting at lunch with Carlisle; Edward could tell something was wrong. I hardly ate my lunch and I was super nervous. Everything hit me all at once. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing. This man, who told me he loved me, was expecting this girl to whom he could start a life with and I didn't know how to do that. How to take care of someone let alone a house. I was going to have to cook and clean. Renee really did set me up to fail in my life. _I am fucked!_

I excused myself to go to the bathroom, partly because my stomach was upset and I felt like I was going to puke all over Edward and his dad. The other because I had gotten myself so worked up I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I really wanted to call Ali but there are no pay phones in a public restroom and I didn't want to go running to one in the middle of lunch and make Edward think I was regretting my decision. I was not I wanted to be here with him more than anything; I was just scared I was going to let him down.

We went home and Edward started to set up our bed, it was a water bed so it had to be filled and heated, so it took a while. I hooked up the computer and decided to email Renee and let her know we made it here and everything was ok. I knew email was safer than a phone call; I did not want to talk to her yet. As soon as I opened my email there were messages from her about missing me already. I didn't even read them and sent a short message that we made it safe and sound. I didn't need her calling on top of everything I was feeling right now.

Carlisle stayed the night and we took him to the airport the next morning. I made sure I paid attention on how to get there because my grandma was coming to visit for a few days and Edward was going to be at work when her plane came in, so I was going to have to pick her up on my own. After he showed me where to go and what to do I was pretty confident I could do it alone.

Edward took me around the city, and showed me how to get places. I had a job interview, and I was going to have to go to while he was at work. So, he wanted to make sure I knew how to get there. Edward started his new job a few days after we moved. I was left in the house alone, not really sure what to do. I was not feeling well, but I just shrugged it off as more stress. I didn't tell Edward that I still felt like shit, and I didn't want him to worry or think I was having second thoughts.

My grandma came to visit; we went shopping at a couple places. The best thing about her visit was that I had someone to hang out with. However, she knew something was wrong with me because I could not eat.

"Bella, figure it out either before I go home or not, but something is wrong. I know you don't have insurance but your health is more important," she told me in that loving way that only your grandma could talk to you. She was the one that basically raised me, till Renee decided she wanted to play mom, when I was twelve or thirteen and took me back.

It was great having Grandma visit, she made me feel a little more at ease. I was still scared that I was never going to be enough for Edward, and that I was not going to live up to the expectations that he wanted, needed or expected. I didn't know if it was all the bullshit Renee had feed me for so long, or just normal worries every young girl has the first time they move in the man that they love.

Edward never said anything to me about not being good enough, or not being what he wanted. He never made me feel bad about myself at all, I could never ask for a better man to be in love with it really was my own self esteem issues that Renee burned into my brain. I had to start to get over this feeling of being inadequate, I know if something bothered Edward he would talk to me about it. _Toughen up Swan. _

I went for my interview, everything went well and I got my start date, but I still wouldn't have health insurance. I would chat on occasion with Renee on IM, but I tried not to spend a lot of time on it with her, she was always so negative.

I finally broke down and called Ali. We had been talking through email and that IM bullshit, but she knew I was hiding something; she didn't push. I couldn't figure out why either.

"Ali, I am so scared. I don't know what to do, I am never going to be good enough for him," I cried to her.

"Bells, you are good enough. I don't know why you are letting Renee's voice haunt you. You know better than that. Now, tell me what is really going on, because you have been dancing around shit for some time now and I have been letting it go. You better spill your guts or I'm telling Jasper, and then going to have him call Edward," she said.

"Ali, I just don't know how to take care of a house...cook...clean…"

"Spill it NOW BITCH," she shouted

"I have been sick for months … I just think its stress. But even Grandma noticed. She told me to figure out what my problem was and do it fast." I was crying.

"Go take a test; you know you should have a long time ago. Why did you wait?" Ali questioned

"I don't want to know the answer, I don't want him to flip out and leave me. I don't want what happened to you to happen to me. I don't want everything Renee said to be true." I thought about what I said and realized that once I finally admitted it, I felt much better.

"You know what you have to do Bella … He loves you, Relax. I have to go call me later. I love you Bells."

And she was gone. I was left to my thoughts.

Everything was going great with Edward and I, the sex was awesome. I was horney as hell, which had Edward reaping all the benefits. After my talk with Ali it finally started to sink in, I was pregnant. I knew deep down I was and she was right. Edward was going to be so upset. We had been together for a while and he said that he loved me, but all I could do was think back to what Renee said. _He will leave you and take that baby. _I was so sick to my stomach now, I ended up throwing up. Once I had cleaned myself up I knew I had to figure it out for sure.

I drove up to the grocery store to buy a test, I remember being with Ali and she always bought more than one, so I got a box with two in there. As I walk to the front of the store a million things went through my head. What if Edward doesn't want this baby? We really have never talked about kids, he is a lot older than me maybe he is ready to start a family. But, does he want to start that family with me?

"Congratulations," the cashier said to me at the checkout.

"Thank you," I replied, as I held back the tears. They were not really sad tears, because I was not sad to be pregnant, but I was scared what Edward was going to do. OH. MY. GOD. Edward is going to flip.

How the hell could you start a new job pregnant?

I cried all the way home. I walked into the house and right into the bathroom, I took both tests. You had to wait three minutes for them to tell you the answer, so I walked out of the room. I went to get a cigarette to try to calm my nerves, ironic huh. Since you shouldn't smoke when you were pregnant. I looked down at them when I walked back in, about a minute later, and they both showed two pink lines.

"Fuck."

I didn't even know how far along I was because of the birth control I was on, it made me not get my periods, so who knows. Now, what was I going to do? Edward was going to be home soon, and I had to tell him sooner rather than later. I cannot hide shit from him. I decided to email Renee, since she won't get it till tomorrow and tell her I didn't get pregnant here. I came here pregnant. _Surprise!_

Edward came home from work, and he knew something was wrong. He could tell I had been crying. He walked over to me, and gave me a big hug. I had eventually gotten enough nerve to tell him out loud. I had told him a ton in my head.

"I'm pregnant."

All I can remember after that was crawling onto his lap and straddling him. I hugged him and looked him in his eyes. They were totally lost of emotion, was Renee right after all. I put my head in the crook of his neck and let the tears roll down my face.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

I was so lost and scared. Renee seemed to know the exact minute Edward walked out the door for work because the phone started ringing. Renee was irate and sending Charlie to get me when Edward was at work. I fought her tooth and nail, and told her no multiple times. I was not leaving. I was not leaving _our new home_.

"I love him; I don't know what we are going to do. I just found out! I am not coming home. Charlie is not coming to get me," I screamed and cried.

"Isabella, your uncle is already on a plane and is bringing you home and you are not keeping that baby. You are too young and we are not playing this game," Renee said then hung up.

I was so upset. I sat in the bathroom and puked until my uncle arrived. I told him I didn't want to leave that I was in love with Edward. How could I leave and not say good bye? I just sat there while he packed the truck. I was in shock that this was even happening. I tried to call Edward at work, but Charlie tore the phone from my hands.

As I laid on the bathroom floor, I thought back over my relationship with Edward and the first time that Renee truly saw the two of us together. I knew then that she was going to ruin my life with him. I saw it in her face. I saw that she was going to destroy my happiness for her pleasure. I didn't understand how a mother could not want their child to be happy. When I had children I would do anything in my power to make them happy, even if it meant a sacrifice on my part. Wasn't that what parents did for their kids?

I walked out into the kitchen to get something to drink and tried to get to the phone again, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I couldn't run from Uncle Charlie. Where the hell was I gonna run too? I had no idea where Edward's work was and no way to even get there.

"I truly am sorry Bella, this is not my choice. I came down here for your mom; I told her I would bring you home."

I was sobbing, I didn't want to leave and I couldn't get a hold of Edward. I pushed passed my uncle and ran to the bathroom again, nothing was left in my stomach; I just dry heaved into the toilet. I lay on the floor hoping he would forget I was there. However, he didn't, he came and picked me up and put me in the truck and left. That was the last time I was ever going to see my Edward again and I knew it. Renee had done it; she had ruined my life completely.

I never even spoke the entire way home, we stopped to eat once. I wanted to protest, but I was starving. I knew I had to eat if not for me, but for our baby. I just sat at the damn iHop and cried. Everything about this entire situation was wrong. Edward would be home from work by now; he would notice that I left. What was he thinking? He must think it was my choice to leave him. I didn't even have a way to contact him.

We finally arrived back at Renee's house; I would never call it home again. Renee took my home away it, was where Edward was, and he wasn't here. She opened the door and ran to hug me.

"Don't worry; we will take care of this. He won't hurt you anymore," she said.

"Hurt me? You are the one hurting me Renee not him, I didn't want to leave him. I love him. You are ruining my life as always. Why can't you just let me be happy, is that so hard for you?" I screamed as I ran from her.

The first night with her, I tried to go back to Edward once in my truck and she took the keys and hid them. As the days passed, I refused to leave the spare bedroom, since she already turned my old room into a family room. I refused to unpack my things hoping that I would eventually find a way back to Edward. It had been a week or so of living in hell with her, she was pretending life was perfect and I was not speaking to her. I called my grandma crying and told her what was going on. She said she would buy me a ticket, but I had to get to the airport. She got me the ticket and Mike said he would take me to the airport, but Renee caught on and put the brakes on that one too.

"You're calling Edward," Renee said as she entered the guest room holding the phone.

"If I call Edward, it will be for him to come and get me," I stated uninterested in why she was going to allow me to call him now.

"No, I'm standing right here … you are going to tell him that you don't want to be with him and that you are not having his child," she demanded.

"I won't do it," I replied stubbornly.

"Yes, you will or I will do something about it!"

"Like what? There is nothing you could do to him or me?"

"Well, for starters I could say that he kidnapped you … held you hostage, and even raped you."

"Those things wouldn't stick and I would NEVER agree to say those things. And, you seem to be forgetting the fact that I'm twenty," I screamed.

"You might be twenty, but don't push I could drag you to psychologist and have you proven unstable in a heartbeat. Better yet, I could have him fired from his new job. I don't want to do these things Bella, but if you don't I will be forced."

I knew she had me, there was nowhere for me to go, nothing for me to do, and if I continued to fight her, she would do everything she threatened. I didn't want to hurt Edward anymore than what he could already have been so I finally caved to her demands. It was horrible. As soon as I hung up I ran to the bathroom and threw up. My body could not handle all the stress.

Renee even found the pictures I had of Edward and me from New Years, she destroyed every one. Every day, I was told how much he didn't really love me because he never came for me or his baby. She broke me. I was starting to believe it. But, in the back of my mind, I knew it was not the truth. Edward thought I left him, why would he try to come get me especially after everything she made me tell him.

Renee pulled me away from Edward, but I still had to try to fight for the sake of our child. I got out of the house one day while she was at work and went to a free clinic for uninsured moms. I needed to figure out if everything was ok with mine and Edward's baby. I was going to go down fighting. Renee had made the appointment for two days from now at the abortion clinic, but I was trying my hardest to not have to go through with it. They did all the blood work needed and an ultrasound, I got to see our baby on the screen. I was sobbing.

"Would you like to know what you are having?" the tech asked looking down at me with thoughtful eyes.

I didn't know what to say, I did want to know, but if Renee made me go through with the procedure it would be worse.

"Yes," I barely whisper but she heard me.

"That's your son."

I jumped off the table before she could even finish and ran to get dressed, still sobbing. She caught up with me on the way out the door.

"Here, I printed you out a picture," she said handing me a tiny ultrasound picture of what Edward and I had made. A piece of both of us, I ran to the bathroom to go throw up again.

I got home a couple hours before Renee did, and sat in my bedroom with my picture and just cried. I didn't know what to do. I wanted Edward, I wanted him to know how much I loved him, I wanted to be with him and have a family with him.

I must have fallen asleep with the picture in my hand because I was woken up the next morning by Renee with it in her hands.

"Let's go I changed your appointment to today."

"What?" I asked groggily from sleep.

"Get up," Renee demanded.

She proceeded to throw clothes in my direction pushing me to get ready. She shoved me towards the car to something I didn't really want. When we pulled into the parking lot of the clinic I was so mad I was shaking. We had not said a single word to each other the entire ride there. We had to give our name to get buzzed into the building. People were so against this they had to take precautions. I was very pro-choice and everyone had to make their own decision, but I was not getting to make my own decision. Renee was making mine for me. I walked in and just sat in a seat, while Renee went up to the counter.

The waiting room was full of young girls; I couldn't believe how young some of them looked. Most looking like it was just another day not a care in the world, and here I was…my life felt like it was ending. There was a wall of hearts with letters written to the unborn babies, of why not carrying them to term was better for them, and why the mothers were too young or unable to take care of them. _Be with God my sweet child. Heaven is a better place for you to be my dear one. I will always love you. _I read as the tears rolled down my face, _I wish I was able to love you as much as you deserved to be loved. _They just got worse. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and sat back down.

They called my name and I just sat in the seat for a few minutes and finally Renee pushed me forward. I had to change and have an ultrasound; they keep the TV turned so you can't see anything which I am glad about now. I just kept my eyes closed and cried. You have a choice to be asleep or awake. I choose the second, I couldn't imagine being awake while everything was happening. I was brought into a room and laid down. The next thing I remember was waking up in a roomful of girls. The nurse told me it was time to get up and dressed.

I walked out to the waiting room and stood there. Renee stood up and walked out to the car. We drove home in silence again. What was I going to say? There was nothing I wanted to say to her, I still couldn't believe what she made me do. What was I going to do with my life now? How was I going to move on?

I went into the guest room and just cried I didn't leave it for weeks. I didn't eat, sleep or talk to anyone. I still wanted to be with Edward, but how was I ever going to face him again after what I did. I still wasn't sure if he wanted the baby, but now he never had the chance to make that choice. I wish he would just barge into my door right now and take me away, but he won't. He thinks I left him. He would never know how much I really love him. No one would ever replace Edward in my life. He would always be the only man I that would ever hold my heart.

As the month passed, I started a new job. Edward had called about bringing me some stuff that I had left in_ our home_. I didn't know what was going to happen when I saw him. Do I pretend and act like I did when we were on the phone? I didn't know what he was going to do or say either. He thought I took off on him pregnant with his child. I could only wish that when I saw him, he could see how sorry I was and how much I still loved him, in my eyes.

Edward met with me at my lunch break. It was so uncomfortable; I didn't know what to do. I wanted to jump him and tell him everything. Crawl into his car and disappear, no one would know the difference. I could see the restraint in his eyes. It was then I knew he didn't love me anymore. I thanked him for my stuff, turned my back and got in my truck. I cried my eyes out. I got my heart broken all over again.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Two years had passed since I had been brought home from my dream life, and I was standing with Ali in the back of a church on my wedding day crying. She was my matron of honor. I was rushing into this marriage and I knew it. I wanted away from Renee, and jumped into it. I had known him for years, but I still was in love with Edward. I cared about my husband to be; however, I would never love him like a wife should love their husband.

Since moving in with him eighteen months ago, my life has slowly started to turn to hell. I was working a couple nights a week at 'Twilight' which he made me stop. The reason, he couldn't trust me enough, and would come into the bar several times and started problems. It got to the point where Aro forbid him to even come in. He controlled everything about my life; I wasn't even allowed to go out with my friends. Hell, I was hardly even allowed to talk to them on the phone. I took it all in stride, figuring it was my punishment.

"I want him to walk in here right now and tell me not to get married, tell me he forgives me and he still loves me and that everything will be ok," I sobbed into Ali's arms.

"I know Bells, I am so sorry. I know you still love him, maybe one day you will find each other again," Ali said as she wiped the tears from my face.

It was time; I went through the motions, and put on my happy face. I am sure everyone thought I was crying out of happiness, but I was crying because I knew I was ruining my life. I looked over at Renee and she looked so happy.

When we got to the reception, I didn't even stand in the receiving line like we were supposed to. I headed straight to the bar and started drinking. I didn't thank anyone for coming and didn't even really talk to anyone. I stayed on the dance floor and drank all night with my girls. I figured I could drink my sorrows away. I was completely trashed by the end of the night.

We were staying at a hotel by the airport because our flight for our honeymoon was leaving early, the car was there to pick us up, and I didn't want to leave; however, I was forced. My friends Alec and Felix were so drunk I didn't want them driving all the way home, so I gave them the keys to our house to stay the night. Alec was my oldest friend and I was not going to let anything happen to him. I think Ali and I knew he was gay before he did. My new husband was not too happy about that either. He did not handle Alec well at all.

"Isabella, let's go now the car is waiting," he yelled and grabbed my arm dragging me out of the hall. Once in the car, he proceeded to yell and scream at me about not leaving when he said it was time to go and that I gave keys to Alec. The entire forty-five minute ride to the airport he yelled and I cried. What a way to start a marriage.

Our honeymoon was crazy. We went on a cruise I wanted to get off the boat and do things, see the islands and experience the spots. He didn't want to socialize with "assholes he didn't know" so we pretty much sat in the room, or I went to the casino or lay in the sun. The few times we did get off the ship, he bitched the entire time about how dirty the islands were, or how nasty and rude everyone else was. I didn't think there was a nice bone in his body.

Since the day I had come home from Edward's I had hated my life and it looked like it was not going to get any better, soon. Karma really is a bitch!

We hadn't been back from our honeymoon long when I found out I was pregnant, I was devastated. How was I going to have a baby with someone so mean? If I was sick, he would think it was funny. I was slowly slipping away.

Seven months later our daughter was born, he was there with me. No happiness shown from him, nothing. I cried for two days in the hospital, for mine and Edward's child that I never got to meet, for my daughter, and for this life I now had. The day we brought her home, I was changing her really quickly before feeding her. She was hungry and crying; meanwhile, he was not happy about all the noise. And, didn't hesitate to let me know spending the rest of the day telling me what a terrible mother I was already.

No decisions about my life were my own anymore, and he decided that I was going to be a stay at home mom now and not go back to work. I think it was just one more way for him to control me. He went back to work full time a week after our daughter was born. I lived by strict rules with him, if she woke him up in the middle of the night, he would wake up yelling and screaming. The thing about our daughter, she really was a wonderful baby. Didn't he realize that babies woke up in the middle of the night; he just didn't want to be inconvenienced.

I never wanted to have sex. I hated him. I didn't want him touching me at all. The more I told him no, the more he would accuse me of cheating on him, so I would just give in. I didn't want any more trouble or anything else to be yelled at over. I basically gave up on life and just went with the motions.

My life just got worse from there, and I couldn't take it anymore. With my mind made up I decided that I finally had enough and wanted to leave. I told Renee that I planned on leaving my husband, she cried once again telling me how I was ruining my life. I would live with my grandparents until I figured out what to do. But, fate had found another way to knock me down. I was pregnant again and completely crushed. I knew there was nothing for me to do; I was stuck and had no way out now. A few months later, our second daughter was born. I had two little girls not even a year apart and a mentally abusive husband that was no help at all.

He screamed if the girls cried, or yelled. I would have to jump out of bed in the middle of the night if one of them woke up, so they wouldn't wake him, otherwise he would go on a rampage. I just couldn't figure out how my life had gotten so bad. I would cry all the time; my husband would yell and tell me I was weak, along with a multitude of other names. I was falling apart at the seams and no one was there to help me. If dinner was not made the second he walked in the door, and the girls were not quiet and perfect then the shit hit the fan.

I put on my bravest face and went with it; no one knew what was going on behind closed doors. And, no one knew the turmoil that brewed inside of my mind. The family he came from would never believe me anyway. He was their baby, perfect.

We moved into a bigger house when I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I had my tubes tied after him. I was going to do it after our second daughter, but I held back I was still so young. Our son was born early but was ok; my husband hovered over everything I did and all he would repeat over and over.

"That's my only boy, don't hurt him."

The older the kids got the worse the abuse got, and not only towards me. Towards the kids too, the verbal abuse was out of control. I fought against him when he started calling the kids "stupid" or "idiot" when they didn't do what he deemed correct. They were kids; they were not doing anything wrong. He thought anything anyone did was stupid. He wanted to sit his ass in a chair and watch TV in peace and quiet. Not spend any time with his kids, no matter how much they begged. Eventually he started to take his anger out on me. It wasn't often that things got rough, but when it did he never hit my face. He knew I wouldn't be able to hide it. He was so much bigger and stronger than me a hit to the face would likely put me in the hospital; however, my arms and legs took the brunt.

I remember being at a cookout one time, and I tossed on a tank top not even thinking that someone notice the huge hand print around my upper arm. The woman who asked had been a friend of my husband's sister for as long as I can remember. Of course, I blew it off and told her I had fallen into something. I still think she knew but kept it a secret.

He didn't do it in private either; he would do it right in front of the kids. I remember the one time, I went and bought school clothes, I spent too much money for his liking. He decided to tell the kids that they didn't need new clothes and hit me over and over in both arms, in front of them while I was trying to cook dinner.

Every time I tried to leave, he would just drag me back. I was afraid of him. He had successfully killed every part of my fun loving spirit I had left inside. I didn't know how or I,f I was ever going to get that part of me back, so I sucked it up and took it.

When my grandfather was dying, I was supposed to go help take care of him one day; however, he wanted me home so I couldn't go. He told me it was not my problem to let other people deal with it. My grandfather died; I never got to say good-bye.

A couple months later, I was seeing no other way out of my miserable life. I mean, inside I felt like I wasn't good for my kids, and not good enough for him. I was a shell of the person that Edward had nurtured and loved. Now, I wanted out of my life. So, I decided to take a bunch of pills. In all honesty, I really didn't want to die and I wanted to get away. I was put in the hospital for a little over a week. After that, I had to see all kinds of doctors and therapists to "work my shit out". He would come and twist the words back to me.

I don't know how he did it, but it all ended up a tangled twisted mess. I was such a wreck. I didn't know which way was up and which way to go.

I did get to talk to my therapist about my past, about my life growing up with Renee, and even my life with Edward. It was hard to talk about; however, I told him that I didn't love my husband like I should and I would never stop loving Edward. It had been almost ten years, since I had talk to him and it still hurt like the day I left. They put me on a bunch of meds and turned me into a zombie of sorts, going through the motions.

I figured out if I took more of one of the medications that I could just sleep my pain away. If I was asleep I was not in pain. I would overtake my meds, and take any others I could get my hands on. The numbness they created was my safe haven. I quickly learned how to play down the effects of the medications in my system. No one knew what was going on believing the act I put on in front of them.

My grandma passed and that tore me apart, at least I was allowed to be with her, this time. I took all the Xanax and pain meds that was left from her. I shouldn't have taken them and for the longest time I got away with it. However, the overuse of the meds caught up with me, and I ended up back in the hospital. Every time I landed in the hospital I stuck the nail in my own coffin, but he used all my flaws against me. It was his hold over me and he made sure to tell me that no one would ever let a "crazy" person have custody of their kids.

After leaving the hospital, I fell right back into the previous patterns of living, just going through the motions. He had total control over everything I did now. My medicine, food, where I went, even who I talked to. It was horrible. I even tried to get involved with the kids schools, and he would flip. I had lost almost all contact with Ali now and had no one.

The one outlet I had was my tattoos; it was the only way I had to express myself. Before I had gotten married I had had a few but I added as the years went by and they all had meaning to me. My husband forced me to get his name in one, so I did as small as possible. As soon as I can that will be covered up. But, there was another reason behind the tattoos that I never realized. When the needle would hit my skin, it was like the blood was washing some of the pain I felt inside away. When I couldn't get another tattoo, I ended up cutting. The cutting relieved a bit of the ache, but it still wasn't enough to break me of it.

No one could ever understand the hurt, pain and sadness my heart endured. My life was controlled when I was younger by Renee, and now that I was married, he controlled everything about me. I was not allowed to be friends with any one of the people I had grown up with. I really was not allowed out of the house and even if I could get out, I couldn't spend money unless it was okayed by my husband.

Things were so bad for me mentally that they even decided that I qualified for disability. I never wanted to talk to Renee, but that was really the only way I got out of the house was with her. I guess he figured I could not get into trouble with her. I think he knew she wouldn't allow me to stray and find a way out. He complained about what she did buy the kids, but he bitched about everything even the stuff they needed. Every day of my life, I tried to figure out some way to leave him and my life there behind. And, everyday nothing seemed to work.

I went as far as spending countless nights awake wondering where Edward was, and what he was doing. Wondering if he ever thought about me? I always rubbed my fingers over the tattoo I got for our son that had gone to live with the angels that day so long ago. No one knew why I got it, or what it meant. Anyone that knew I was pregnant years ago thought I lost the baby. It was too private and personal for me. I hoped Edward would one day get to see it. One day maybe I would find the courage to find him, contact him, maybe we would find our happily ever after just like Ali had said many years ago.

Until then, I was stuck with him and my life in purgatory.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement was intended.**_

_**This story will eventually have a HEA, so please be patient as I get my characters into position. There will be extreme adult subject matter, drama, talk of abortion and angst; please be advised. **_

_**Thank you to carolinecullen2012 and piesmom for everything you did to make this story what it is today. I love you ladies with all my heart. Could not have done it without you! **_

Chapter 14

Every day for years, I lived in my own personal hell. Never was I truly happy with my life, never was I satisfied that things had turned out for the best. I loved my children dearly, but I was never good enough for them, never whole like I was when Edward was in my life.

One day while driving to pick the kids up from school, I decided to listen to the radio, which I never did. I always had my iPod plugged in, music and reading was the only escape I had in life. Music was the only thing I had allowed myself to feel like Edward and I were still connected.

When the song I had sung to him so many years ago began to play, I started to cry. I had not heard it since I sang it to him, when we drove to Seattle with Ali and Jasper to see her parents. It was a reminder once again of everything I lost. Drying my tears I picked the kids up and continued on with my routine in life. Trying to be the best mother and wife I could given the purgatory I was in.

My husband had killed that once wild crazy girl that I used to be making sure I had no outlet. However, I had my memories that no one could erase and used my 'Facebook' account to partially live out those feelings and connected with friends who knew the real me. I never censored myself on there or anything I posted. The people I was friends with all thought it was so funny the things I would put up, but that was really me. I got to stay connected to friends that I could otherwise not talk to. Alec had left, so had Tanya. Ali and Jasper were gone. Everyone from 'Breaking Dawn' had pretty much gone their separate ways also. Jessica moved to Nashville and met someone there and got married. I never had to worry about my job stalking my account so I pretty much posted whatever the hell I wanted. It was like my alter ego. He didn't have an account so it didn't matter. When he found out about my account, he used to check it all the time thinking I was cheating

After hearing the song, I couldn't shake Edward's memory from my mind. Once the kids were settled in for the night and so was he, I decided to look Edward up. I didn't really know if he would be on there or not. I had heard through gossip he had gotten married or was going to, but I didn't know. I looked over my shoulder making sure once again that he was snoring and typed out E…D…W…A…R…D. I was so scared to go any farther and hesitated on writing his last name. There was a ton of people by that name, I thought, so I continued, C…U…L… I stopped before I could get his whole last name spelled out. His name popped up along with his picture. One hand went to my mouth while the other went to the screen, and a single tear escaped my eyes.

He looked happy, and I was happy if he was happy. I was glad that his life had gone on even though I left. But, a part of me was jealous. _How could he be so happy? _ I knew I shouldn't be but, I could not help it. I was jealous because he was happy and I was not.

I hit the 'friend' button before I could stop myself. I didn't know if he would know who it was because my maiden name was not on my page. I figured if he accepted, it was meant to be if not, I would just move on.

A few days later he had accepted. I couldn't believe my luck, so I decided to send him a quick message, just to say hello of course and catch up. _Only to see how he was and if he was truly happy in life _I told myself. There was no turning back now! I had already gone this far and couldn't resist the chances of talking to him again. I needed to know something about him, anything about him now. Hell, I had waited fourteen years for this opportunity again. I prayed and hoped I would get more than "a fuck you Bitch, I hate you" as a response.

I sent the message and checked my messages like a teenager waiting for a boy to call and tell you he is interested. Every day it was the same, no reply. I was a mess of nerves and what ifs. It had been a few days since I had messaged. Did he not care about talking to me at all? I thought, but I could think that. I mean, it had been years, what was I really thinking I would get from him. However, if he didn't want to talk to me or anything, why did he even accept my friendship?

Searching his page revealed that he didn't get on very often, and a small part of me hoped that this was the reason for not responding to my message. It still made me nervous that he hadn't responded. But, my worries were soon misplaced when I thought about my own page. I wondered how much of my page he had gone through? I had tons of shit on there, stuff that I wasn't really worried about when it came to my friends, but him. That's when the thought crossed my mind that he saw pictures of me and I realized I wasn't the hundred twenty pound, twenty year old anymore. My mind was in overdrive worrying about what he would think of me now.

_What could he be thinking?_ The years had for sure taking its toll on me and according to my husband, I was a fat, lazy, and ugly. That's what my mind was usually filled with, whatever he wanted to call me the day.

oOo

A week was how long it took him to respond and that week was how long I worried about what he would think about me. I was so happy he finally responded. He seemed almost glad to hear from me in a way.

We went back and forth about where we are now in our lives and what we have been doing the past fourteen or so years. We messaged back and forth for a few days; I have not felt that alive in years. I decided to give him my cell number to call me.

I didn't know if he would for sure or not, but when my phone rang…my heart was in my throat. It was a local number so I could not be sure, but something inside me just told me it was him. When I heard his voice, every emotion flooded my body. I spilled. I told him what happened after I left, that I tried to come back and as soon as I spoke the words I broke down in tears. He didn't say anything about the crying so he either ignored it or couldn't tell. We talked for a few more minutes and said we would talk later.

Emotions started running through my body that I have not felt in fourteen years. We kept chatting through email just to keep it safe. I was still married and he had a live in girlfriend. I told him about how everything went after I left; I want him to know how I felt. We kept in contact through text also. We made sure that it was only when I was alone and so was he.

The more I talked to him the more my confidence started to come back. It was amazing what just communicating through text and email would do to your self esteem. I even got enough courage to tell my husband I was going out with a bunch of my kid's friend's moms. He bitched and moaned, but I didn't give in. I went out and had a great time, but I couldn't take my mind off Edward.

The band that was playing was a seventy's band, and they were talking about how the just got a new guitar player. The original just moved to the exact city Edward was currently living in, so they wanted to sing his favorite song and dedicate it to him. I fell off my seat when the singer started belting out Me and Bobby McGee by Janis. I don't know if it was a sign or not but I took it as one.

We were in constant communication. I was gaining my nerve at home with my husband and told him I wanted a divorce. Of course he dragged me to my therapist right away. I would play all the games I needed. I was getting away from my husband one way or another.

Edward and I would talk about hopefully meeting up one weekend. If it was my choice I would just pick up in the middle of the night and run to him, I lost him once I am NOT going to do it again. He wants to take things slow, see if it's still there between us. _God let it be there_. I know it sounds bad too grown adults planning on having an affair, but I have checked out on my marriage long ago. He has a girlfriend too, which does scare me.

I have voiced my fear to him. I don't want this will be a quick fuck then see you later. I won't be able to handle that. The emotions I have just from the emails and texts, I can't even imagine what I am going to feel when I see him in person. I still love him, I have never stopped. I don't know how he feels about me though. I don't expect him to still love me. I am hoping there are still some feelings there since he wants to see me again.


End file.
